I once didn’t poop for like three days on a camping trip, so I’m pretty sure I’m a gastroenterologist.

I 100% agree. Men should definitely have the ability to veto abortions, and it should happen as soon as they have the ability to get pregnant.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now, if a black child had done that, we’d know for sure that he was a criminal and a thug. Thankfully, it was just a white kid, so we’ll chalk it up to experimenting and pushing boundaries. This kid just needs a firm but loving hand and some extra Sunday School.

I'm hoping Santorum will try again because I'll never not enjoy making Santorum Google jokes.

She was so excited she forgot her pants!

I’m confused; they told us sex was like a beautiful rosebud, which the whole Sunday school class passed around and took turns fingering, and then it was ruined forever? :shrug:

What? What pot of boiling water is just like having sex? What pot of water just boils after you start kissing it? What have I missed? Am I boiling water wrong? Should my hands roam more? More importantly, am I doing sex wrong if no boiling water is involved? Should I be this distressed?

OH LIKE MARS IS SO CLEAN AND PURE

One man told KWES, “I mean I have a kid, honestly I don’t want my kid growing up in an area where nasty stuff like that happens.”

I read the popcorn story out loud to my daughters, who loved it and insisted I read it out loud again when my husband got home. It is now legendary.

“Also, please take this complementary diabetes as a souvenir of your tour!”

The international breakfast is a half-waffle

“Now THAT’S White Zinfandel!” which he promptly poured into his monogrammed thermos.

What is it with sushi and stupid people? I was out to dinner this weekend at a very nice sushi place (the kind where they serve sushi and that’s it, no hibachi or noodle dishes or anything) and the two women at the table in front of us were absolute nitwits. They sat down, looked over the menu, and then started doing…

Maybe hot chocolate lady was allergic to beige?

Good for her. I know several families who have pulled their special needs kids out of private/charter schools and put them into public schools because it’s the public schools that have the resources and expertise to provide their children with a quality education. Public schools function fine when both the government…