"Jenny McCarthy is essentially saying she burned through a vibrator a day. Holy. Shit."

I'm pretty sure no one cares about your preferences on the subject.

circumcision is when a dick is filed down into a point, yes.

Oh for crying out loud- can people please stop acting like straight men liking ass play is weird? It's 2014... about time for pop culture to become a little more open minded.

How do these conservatives spend so much time thinking about buttsex and STILL not understand it?

No, that idea is supported by science so I let it go.

Are we really glossing over the fact that this man thinks anal can get you pregnant?

And even the bowels of Hell are questionable. I still pride myself on never having seen 2 Girls 1 Cup, nor any of that rosebudding weirdness. NOPE.

Tip 1: don't hire out an expensive hotel to hold something like this.

Yeah, that was me over the weekend when I was digging through all of the posts on DashCon.

I remember this President because he looks like Carson from Downton Abbey.

Why the fuck do I care about anything that happens on Tumblr

This costume says: "fuck you Ubisoft" all over it. I like that, i really do.

"They're better people than us," says Brian Kilmeade. So are things growing on the underside of bridges.

i feel you.

Yeah, definitely school uniforms, but I just really want it to be something more exciting than that.

Your son sounds RAD.

I would say, based on my (granted, fairly limited) experience in a semi-high-end hotel restaurant with really cool decor, that the constant instagramming and picture taking definitely adds some time to the meal.

In the kitchen trash, yesterday afternoon. I figured it was coming up anyway, I was already on my knees next to it, it needed to be emptied, and it looked like there was enough paper toweling to absorb my meager stomach contents. Being on meds that make me puke on the reg has made me very good at doing it tidily.

Paula Deen has always been a mess, I see.

I'm sure alcohol thought you were a great roommate!