Notice on the door: "If you do not have a tutu, one can be provided to you at no additional charge."

If you have a large frame and it is a dance club for elephants, you might have some luck with this.

So I went on a date with this guy like a year ago, and he had many personal qualities that I did not like (including his eyes locked on my boobs half of the time we were talking and backbiting his supposed good friend to gain points with other people, and retelling my jokes as though they were his own), so I did not…

I hate texting. If you want chit-chat, how about a phone call? I'm 41 and have a sucky phone, so those things should be taken into consideration.

I was trying to channel Gina Davis when I was doing some archery a couple of weeks ago. I gave myself a massive bruise where the string of the bow hit my hyper-extended arm. I did feel like a badass though.

I think it sounds like a great lesson in "just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should."

Just ignore me.

I don't blame you. I had to block some family members of a childhood friend who are still Mormon (though my friend is not). They started posting veiled crap like, "Just because you can do something, it doesn't make it natural or right in the eyes of God." Or "People can choose to be clean in body and spirit and not do…

One guy I dated has his Facebook set so privately that I couldn't even find him on a search. He had to friend me before he was visible. Other people don't even have Facebook! These people are simply making my life more difficult. Then I have to (gasp) talk to them or ask them out before I find out that they are either…

Don't forget too that herpes of the eye can lead to blindness. This can be contracted by babies during childbirth.

Do what I do: Find out their name, look at their Facebook page until you see a post where their significant other says, "You're so funny and that's why I love you," then vow to start assuming that everyone is married. Then go to a convention, see a cute guy and repeat. At least that's what I plan to do with my weekend.

Thank you for educating me on this term! Now I have a name for what happened when my firewall at work blocked Mirriam Webster from sending me the Word of the Day after said word was 'cockswain.'

I used to complain about stuff like this, but now I realize that it just helps the selection process. I don't have to read his profile when I can spend a fraction of a second viewing this picture and know to move on.

I suddenly feel lucky not to have been subjected to that note. It probably helps that I and at least a few of my friends have special needs children, but blargh. I will not disparage your cave, because that is a sane response to madness in the world.

On my son's first full day of kindergarten I went to pick him up and he said, "You left me here for ten years!"

I agree in those cases. But when the person has a job and an education? That seems like a stretch.

If he had done that, I agree. But mostly he did less than half of the housework, and decided he couldn't stay home when the time came and I was standing at the door with the breast pump slung over my shoulder. He subsequently (after I asked for a divorce two years later, with both of us unemployed) entered the…

I can see how you would get that based on what I said. When we got married at 18 we agreed to have an equal partnership. After a few years of marriage he was having trouble keeping a job. We split up, got back together with the understanding that he would get a job. He didn't. When I eventually started making enough…

Maybe it's just me, but I think that asking for spousal support is kind of tacky, especially when you are an educated and employed person. I admit that I may be biased because I worried about having to pay spousal support when I got divorced. Fortunately my ex either didn't realize that his years of househusbandry…

"Half of unintended pregnancies end in abortion in this country."