I watched the video twice: Is it just me or does he give a pirate a handjob?

Was Jesus bald?

Exactly what I was going to say. I pray that their union produces no offspring.

Quote from the cat: "That raccoon done killed my paw!"

I hope that when this goes to PC it will let me display a plate on a shelf or place something neatly on a table. It's stupidly frustrating to be in my awesome quarters as the head of the College of Mages and have empty shelves because when I tried to put things on the shelf I discovered that I have zero fine motor…

I could be wrong, but I think that the DLCs just start out on XBox and then get expanded to other platforms. At least that is my experience as a PC gamer.

That really sucks, but it also sounds like you're well rid of that douche.

I'm surprised that they haven't floated the idea that slugs just have really short memories for how painful it is to be female. Also: Pretty slug.

Hello. As someone who breastfed for over two years, I can say that you are full of crap. While "breast is best" for some, there are countless reasons — mental, physical, emotional, financial, social — why choosing to use formula is fine for many women. Parenting IS hard: everyone knows it. Breastfeeding is hard too,…

Pregnancy can increase risks of breast cancer for some people. A bath of estrogen can be great food for errant cells. Maybe what you mean is that in general there seems to be a lower rate of cancer in people who have breastfed before age thirty compared to the population of those who have not; but correlation does not…

"Children"? I thought that Elton and David just had the one little guy. Did they have another kid when I wasn't looking?

Instead of saying that he is a bad kisser, you could suggest that you have a different style of kissing that you like and that you would like to demonstrate if he would let you. If he's not open to that, he's probably not worth it anyway because he won't be open to trying other new things with you.

So, I was going to have vaginal intercourse with a very hot young man this afternoon (yes, I am bragging and it had been like 13 months since I last had sex, so I was totally stoked), but his penis was way too big for the condoms I had. Does anyone know what a really big brand is? He apparently is inexperienced enough…

What?!? You've never heard of the guy who destroyed Pluto?! Okay, he demoted Pluto from a planet to not a planet. He is a famous astrophysicist and the director of the Hayden Planetarium and completely awesome and brilliant. And dreamy. Also a featured scientist in this great Melodysheep video:

That's too bad because I was hoping that he could now be referred to as Dominic "Could Have Been Hodor" West.

Given the ridiculous comments aimed at Gabby Douglas's hair, would it be inappropriate for me to say that I love Adzo Kpossi's hair?

Isn't that a runcible spoon? I'm pretty sure that Edward Lear documented its existence many years ago.

I agree. Wahlberg is way too healthy. It needs to be someone with that meth-head look. Unless in this future amphetamines come standard with steroids.

I shall now add this to the list of dietary horror stories to tell my son when he eventually goes off to college. Another favorite is the roommate of a friend who got scurvy from only eating ramen.

He's high functioning, but it can be hard for him to understand other peoples' feelings especially when they don't align with his. For instance he can't accept that I don't like Coke because he loves Coke and can't conceive of a more ideal drink in the world. He keeps asking me if I'd like a Cherry Coke or a Vanilla…