Everyone I know that got GD started out as a tiny slip of a thing. So, GD isn't necessarily for the already-overweight .

If my mother didn't have an abortion, I wouldn't exist.

We discovered that my pumpkin had flipped to frank breech nine days past my due date, when even my laidback midwives started to get twitchy at my utter absence of progression and sent me for a NST and ultrasound. So a C section it was. I had really wanted to go all natural but whatevs. I nicknamed her "2ndLt With A…

When my doctor asked me "so, what's your birthing plan" and I said the same thing "whatever gets her out of me doc"

My birthing plan? Whatever gets the kid out of my damn body.

His farts sound like a rip off of Bono.

i'd let him do everything to me

Tom Hardy...does something to me.

*sigh* Best lips ever.

After a few minutes, I returned to the table. The man ordered a hamburger.

Oh, that's weird. I thought that hamburger is made from ground-up citizens of Hamburg, Germany. Is there shrimp in that?

You haven't had filet mignon until you've had it fresh off the boat. Also, if you need any monogrammed thermoses....

I explained to him that filet mignon is a steak, a very nice cut of beef. This guy actually argued with me, causing a big scene.

It's more like making pancakes...the first one is always a little messed up.

My mom had a Min Pin named Sonar. She wandered into my mom's yard and her big ol' ears led to the name.

When my friend got her dog from the shelter his name was Claude, and he would only answer to French commands

It's definitely the best way to go. My dog is Wesley, my old cat was Martin, we rescued two kittens right before a blizzard and named them Steve and Nicholas before we handed them over to a shelter. I still laugh when I think about Steve the kitten.

I would punch a baby straight in the mouth for her hair. I mean, I'd prefer to find a baby that really had it coming, but it's not a requirement.

I too wore a kicky hat this weekend.

It's like Hypatia, but in the modern "enlightened" era.