I love my Roomba. It’s a little cat litter and cat hair eating machine. Full disclosure - your pet will not ride on it like YouTube would want you to believe. They will cower in fear.

I love my Roomba. It’s a little cat litter and cat hair eating machine. Full disclosure - your pet will not ride on…

Are you new to the internet? Like is this your first day?

This guy has clearly embraced who he is and is living his personal best life.

Good. I couldn’t give a shit about the rest of Gawker, but Jalopnik and Gizmodo are about the only topic sites I give a shit about.

Fucking LA asshole car owners...

He wants $95,000 for this thing.

Just imagine what a Mustang’s red key would do...

I think I’d have to meet the kid to make that call.

All three of those brands used to have relatively timeless designs. Things got weird in the ‘90s/’00s (depending on which brand). For example, I think these will still look great:

I think their greatest failing was the neuvo R8. It’s their halo car, and they killed the sideblade - it’s most unique trait - in favor of a more bland, less outstanding vent.

Let’s reverse those roles...

you can see the Flying Elbow Cop thinking “THIS IS IT! THE MOMENT I’VE TRAINED MY WHOLE CAREER FOR! THE PEOPLES ELBOW!!!!”

Shoot him? Are you crazy? I can’t shoot him; he’s clearly not poor, and he might even be white!

2001 BMW 740i M Sport... all the way. If I ever come across a clean, low mileage example in Stratus Grey on black (unicorn), I’m selling my E36 M3 for one.

“BMW whatever”?

Mmmm... the older it gets, the better looking the E38 gets.

Since the answer is really the Model S, and you didn’t specify “new”:

I knew I could trust you on this one, Google.

No no, it’s fine. They have safety string

“I’m worried about reliability, so I’d get a BMW instead.”