My daughter spent 3 years working at the George V. She began as an assistant housekeeper, and I can assure you, the corners of her bedsheets did not have sloppy double folds like the ones in the video. Big no-no! The corners had to be 45° angles with nary a wrinkle in sight. Guests were known to check on stuff like…

I thought they’d photoshopped a perfect ear of white corn between his lips

However, if my beloved and I shared a name such as McDougal, well, samesies: Mr & Mrs McDougals. Problem solved. And if the last names are not shared, it is time to take out the Scrabble board and play until you find a winning combo! Tale McDougal and Smith: SmithDougal! Well, why not?

If my name was Smith and I married a man named Smith, I would request, lovingly, that we opt together, to change both our last names to She and He Smiths. Or, more whimsically, Mr and Mrs She and He The Smiths.

This is a story that affects me deeply right now. My recently-married daughter lives and works in the Caribbean and she and her husband were very excited to get a baby started. Alas, they are brokenhearted to have to shelve their plans until more is known about the link between microcephaly (not to mention Guillain…

OH JEEZ!

I think you misspelled “broad”.

I got married in the States but live in Paris. Of COURSE I made it clear that we “preferred” cash or checks, because a US toaster doesn’t work in France, and I couldn’t carry 120 different gifts of china, glassware, linens or silverware with me. Didn’t prevent one dear dotty old Aunt from giving me a ruby colored…

“I was heartbroken when Geri left the Spice Girls”

Chablis Premier Cru turns into Dr Pepper when it shoots out of your nostrils. Truth.

I can’t even complete one consecutive shower every two days. Let alone SHAMPOOING

My sister-in-law left her diamond ring in bleach to make it sparkle...and then forgot about it for a few weeks. The diamond sparkled its ass off, but the gold ring completely dissolved and she had to have a new one made.

We ARE someone! Happy everything!

Oh honey, after misreading the winner, you’d think he would double-check his tweet, no?

and spell

Did you seriously just use the same father & son (models or real dad & kid) for this article AND the Men Take Paternity Leave Far More Often When Their Child Is Male article? Tacky.

Where in the name of all that’s sarcophagal do you live, that it would take you 18 hours to get here? And who says you have to leave after one night? The contest rules give the winner a round-trip ticket with one night in the spectacular, eerie, wonderful catacombs, but you can add extra tourism days afterwards. Of…

Oh shut up. Of COURSE it’s about guns and gun laws. It’s always about guns. We can’t get rid of crazy people but we CAN get rid of guns, FFS.

I watched about 10 of his shows and then the whole thing turned into an endless loop of “You’re so cute!”, “No, YOU’RE the cutest one!”, “Oh let’s play beer pong instead of saying words in sentences and now, here are The Roots playing the same fucking song forever, yay!”

Your handle is fucking divine