Fuck you, I got divorced because Jimmy Fallon had that guy from Stone Temple Pilots on the day we got married.

...And so it was that Adam was restless. All of his attempts to holler at the animals were unsatisfying. The giraffes ignored him in favor of their lunch of delicate leafy branches. The hippopotami sank deeper beneath the lazy, lapping waters. A gorilla ignored him, mostly, and then had the audacity to back hand him…

I have a friend from Nashville staying with me in Chicago. Yesterday while walking to a bus, some guy started hollering at her, even crossing the street to get closer. He finally asked, "where's your man??"

Sorry to hear you had a similar experience! As one of my doctor's said to me : "You'll be terrified for years, but you are going to be fine." I am trying to appreciate the present and the fact that my body is (relatively) healthy. But it's definitely hard!

Thank you for writing about this. Women in my family have had breast cancer, as well (my mom twice). I grew up thinking my breasts were time bombs attached to the front of my chest, and thought BRCA testing would prove it. Because my mom refused to undergo genetic testing and no one else was available I, too, received…

Yeah. As a Coloradan, I know a couple kids who grew up in Colorado Springs. One of the kids has car with a bumpersticker that says, "Keep Colorado Springs Lame." Which sums up how the whole state feels about it. Beautiful, but eh......

That was a truly glorious autocorrect. All the points to you (and your phone) - I can't stop giggling!

ugh! Focus on the Family. James Dobson's organization. I did a complete 180 on him about 15 year ago or so. I originally thought their parenting tips that I got in my church bulletin were ok and even smart. Largely though that was before I actually had kids to raise. Then I began to realize through his constant…

I was trying so hard to decipher that. Thanks for the translation!

I love your autocorrect. That made me literally LOL. Method Smoking Homophones will be my new band name.

And where are the pictures of sons with their moms? Oh, that's right. Religious people don't give two shits if boys sleep with half the girls in the country, but GOD FORBID a girl sleep with ONE boy before marriage, then her value as a human being takes a nose dive.

How does it feel, to treat my thread like you do?

I like you zooobotobobo even if you SN has an alarming amount of Os

Blue Valentine is a killer. I was totally wiped out by the time it was over.

Texas = "septicemia" Of all the crazy shit that we get into here and THAT'S what can kill you? Fuck it, then I am going "Bigfoot hunting" with my neighbors next weekend.

So what you're telling me is that in addition to walking with my keys between my knuckles I should be investigating hooks and electrical outlets in bathroom stalls and dressing rooms?

I loved it too, now I want to read another book similar to it but I don´t know any. :(

The Fault in Our Stars is being marketed as the saddest film of all time when in fact the book is laugh-out-loud funny for about three quarters of the story, and it only turns devastating in the last quarter. But of course everyone will come prepared and as a consequence will be unmoved by the devastation that is the…

Back in the 19-aughts, I saw Orgy perform. In the middle of one of their songs, the lead singer went to the edge of the stage, leaned down, and said, "If you keep calling her a bitch, I'll show you who the real bitch is." I just think it's...I want to say admirable even though it should be the standard, for someone…