If and ocean of sewage flooded a toxic waste dump, they could name it Lake Rosanne and nobody would ask why.

What else would you expect from the head of the Trump Crime Family, who swims in an ocean of shit-scented privilege?

If true, his net worth is greater than Trump’s.

Pootine?

I just have to say that wypipo is my favorite piece of vernacular ever.

This is almost as insane as the concept of tenure, but on the opposite end: the university can have someone (who doesn’t even work for them) fired for doing nothing wrong, while promising a job for life to someone else no matter how poorly they perform.

(sobs disconsolately into his magic underwear)

If the Me Too movement is the result of Russian propaganda, then Putin has done us all a favor.

A quickie with the bellboy.

If the customer had stumbled or misunderstood what the subhuman with a badge said, he could have been shot and killed with impunity. “I felt threatened” is all the subhuman would have to say, and everything would be neatly swept under the carpet.

Yes, please stop telling Michelle to run for President - it’s clear that Oprah should lead the ticket.

Melania gets no pass from me. She is the wretched queen of the Trump Crime Family.

Ansel is a Eurofish (despite being born in Manhattan) and you will never change his scales. Get over it.

When exactly did Kanye turn white?

A Creed Of One will be the name of my new ska band.

Pruitt wants to bring back Thalidomide, what a wonderful time we live in!

They should sue the white out of him.

It seems wrong to use the word accident anywhere in a story like this. Sure, the toddler shot her mother unintentionally, but associating this tragically preventable event with the word accident only serves the NRA.

She is bought and sold by the Trump Crime Family, as is so much of America.

I voted for Trump to impress Taylor Swift, which was a bigger mistake than this guy made.