I don't think anyone will read this, but here goes:

I sprained my ankle playing Corn Hole. I was not even drunk, I'm just a terrible Corn Hole player.

Oh, friend! My life didn't truly begin until I found Retinoids (I use Tazorac). My skin was so terrible and disgusting and painful. I also cut back on dairy around the same time I went on the cream. It's a miracle product! Except for the fact I can't expose my face to the sun, and dry weather makes my skin as tight as…

All I see is Vanilla Ice.

I think the TMJ diagnosis is way for Igloo to transition from her "rap" career to just full-blown pop. Which can't be any worse, tbh.

As a child, I frequented the water, but as I've gotten older I've become more afraid of it. I did have a nasty run in with a tide full of jellies, and my husband (a tropical fish collector) terrifies me with stories of getting bitten by eels and spined by urchins, so even though I live on the water...I haven't gone in…

Um..probably because we have a shit ton of sea creatures waiting to sting our faces, or shatter our bones. (Obv speaking for myself, but it's why I don't go in the water.)

I could understand UPS's stance on this if she had just started working six months ago, but the lady put in 10 good years. There's no reason why she just couldn't be the driver for those assholes who lost their licenses from DUIs. PROBLEM SOLVED.

My first reaction...Do you blame her? Single mom with 6 kids all under 14! That's a goddamn nightmare. I'm sure many people crack under that kind of pressure. At least she just went on vacation. She could've drove the lot of them into the Thames.

You sound like an absolutely normal human being with complex and multi-faceted thoughts and ideas. Please don't beat yourself up because of those concerns. Your devotion to your family and job and well-being is admirable. Good for you for caring.

Agreed with taxes and insurance changing often. That was something we weren't prepared for after that first year. We saw a $200 monthly increase in our mortgage bill (includes taxes + flood insurance + windstorm, etc). We could take the hit, but I was always under the impression that when you own a house, the monthly…

Ours was a bit out of our price range, and that made me very very nervous. But...the house was absolutely everything we dreamed of. I was convinced we couldn't afford it, but my sister gave me some great advice and told me that its better to spend more on a house that you love rather than just get one because it's…

I'm sure you already know this (bc you live in the 'burgh), but Conflict Kitchen closed its doors today because of death threats. Probably not gonna be a car bomb because there is never any parking in Oakland, amirite?

Ha, my fiance does the same thing. I'll be cooking and he'll come up behind me and put his arms around me and start kissing my neck, etc. and I know that looks adorable in movies and on TV, but when you're in front of a hot skillet that requires the use of both arms and attention, it gets fucking annoying. He gets so…

I think we have the same washing machine. The lid locks during the entire cycle so even during rinse, I can't open it and put in the fabric softener. And the Downy ball never opens. I'll throw it in there and have the same amount of FS at the end of the cycle. It's a garbage machine, but it came with the house.

Oh yeah, I work for an idiot of boss. He's so embarrassing, too. He makes our whole organization a laughing stock. He is never on time for any meeting (I think this is a power trip thing), and any meeting that is supposed to last a half hour usually ends up being 2 hours with nothing accomplished at the end of it. He…

I remember the first time I saw this book. I was over at a friend's house. I must've been seven years old. Stephen Gammeli is an amazing artist if his illustrations can bring back so many haunting memories for so many people.

(I can't believe I actually went and got my box of cereal...) I eat Uncle Sam Original Toasted Whole Wheat Berry Flakes & Flaxseed. Ingredients: Whole wheat kernels, whole flaxseed, salt, barley malt. Sounds legit. AND it's less than $3 a box.

TEM's report on "The Rainbow Gulag" will always be my favorite Jezebel article.

I'm so glad for you. It what I hope for in our situation. My mom's dog ran away in March, and we haven't heard a word about her. It's so heartbreaking. :(