I tend to prefer shorter guys (though to be honest, height isn’t something I care about... it just happens that the men I think are attractive are never all that tall), but I agree — none of them has ever been obsessed or particularly concerned with their height, so it was fine. I don’t think I could listen to someone…

—For a man to openly reject a woman because he found her fat would be social suicide.—

I thought it was OK to eat dairy products with fish, just not a mammal with the milk of its mother. Of course, lobster doesn’t have fins or gills, so the dairy issue is moot.

“I’m not a heartless, child-kicking racist.”

I’ve heard of similar results from answering with “That depends on who’s asking,” followed by a flirty smile.

They never took a doggie bag home and they never touched Golem Jesus’s meal.

I’ve been in service for a long time. The best answer to “Are you gay” or “are you a fag” is ALWAYS yes. They will practically run out of your restaurant/bar.

“And yea, I said unto him, motherfucker, I am on the Do Not Call list.”

Also, a pretty cringe-worthy story, but here goes:

I wrote a parody of Passion of the Christ (as a kind of performance art piece) that was so sacrilegious that my friends who performed in it had their kid taken away in a custody dispute when the Catholic judge was shown pics of it. Took years to straighten out. Worst thing I ever accidentally did.

“Coerced by threats of contempt sanctions” - well no shit, that’s what contempt charges are SUPPOSED TO DO, coerce you into not being an asshole. When we learn from the actions of others (ie. watching her be jailed for 5 days) because of someone else’s criminal actions, that’s called GENERAL DETERRENCE and is the…

It also claims that her clerks were “coerced by the threat of contempt sanctions” into granting marriage licenses.

Sooooooo...she’s complaining the clerks were “coerced” into following the law because if they didn’t, they might go to jail...

I just donated to Planned Parenthood in your name. You’re welcome. I encourage others to do it as well. And every time I see your comments I’m going to donate again.

Just avoid GMOs

If you can identify that what you are doing is abusive, and continue to do it, I’m pretty sure you’re doing it intentionally even if it didn’t begin that way.

They’re bringing bindles back

Maybe I’m just not a romantic, but there’s no time period I’d rather live in than this one. Or maybe the future. But right now we have disposable tampons, birth control, antibiotics, air conditioning, divorce laws, safe abortions (where available) and surviveable c-sections. I’m a cynic and I bitch a lot about what…

Nobody tell Ed what happens to caterpillars when THEY grow up.

Aw Kara, Ed is quoting Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons. As in: