Great article.

How do I know menstrual pads work?? All I know is they absorb blue liquid!

Actually, it’s not a strange thing to be upset about. Because some of us speak more than one language and can read those signs just fine, and this assumes that all people are white who only speak English. Get it now?

No, banks are required to report any large transactions (single transactions of $10K+ or related transactions in a 12-month period totally $10L+) to the IRS. This is filed with the Financial Crimes Enforcement Network (Treasury) as it is an anti-money laundering tool. If you get audited the IRS also has this…

As somebody who deals with a lot of execs, there is nothing I hate more than when I send a well crafted email with short questions asking for specific information that I need to proceed on something, only to get a standard CEO response of an incomplete sentence with words misspelled that answers nothing.

So you may get your yes but the minor can later rescind it, and congratulations, you committed statutory rape.

Uh, also can you call it an apology if he never, not once said he was sorry but did find a way to talk about how admired he is twice?

If it’s any consolation, arrows and musket balls are also ineffective as an ICBM shield.

Show Business, 2016: Stop complaining about all the white guys running Hollywood! What’s the worst that could happen?

I’ve been the guy on the other side—using women’s reluctance to give a hard “no” as an opening to keep pushing.

Also, maybe you married the wrong person? When that happens we often look for signs of trouble anywhere we can find it. Think about it.

That’s ridiculous. You’re paying a fair, reasonable amount to have somebody drive you from point A to point B. There is absolutely no reason to expect chauffeur-level service, so don’t calibrate you five-star-o-meter to it.

They are probably all growing their own avocado trees so they can disrupt the avocado toast industry and crash the one growth area they created, devious little fuckers.

I had a wart that had been impossible to remove with the freeze thingy. I followed directions and had success with it in the past but this thing was dug in deep. I went to the doctor prepared for her to scoop the damn thing out of my foot with a melon baller and she refused. She told me cider vinegar (with the…

Yes! My husband had a mole grow on the side of his face and I was sure it would be there permanently, but he put apple cider vinegar on it for a few weeks and it completely disappeared. I was amazed!

People had their faces covered because they rightly feared busybody assholes like Tom Llamas would dime them out to the cops!

As an aside, the military pays for ED medicine because ED is a side effect of PTSD and the associated medicines that help people suffering from that. Let’s not advocate for the military to do away with spending there as being able to have a normal, healthy sex life can help in the overall healing process.

Having said…

So look, this probably isn’t going to be the column for you. There’s lots of other great content on this site and plenty of cleaning advice for parents elsewhere. Go find what you need in this world!

*whispers* people with kids die alone in nursing homes. Having kids is no guarantee they will want to be around you when you’re old.

Would be even better if the coat of arms was a diagram showing HOW to construct a coat of arms.