I actually don’t mind picking up the difference - in those situations, they clearly need the $4 more than I do. What I don’t like is that people defend this practice as being more fair. I think it only feels more fair when you can ride on the generosity of other people.

THIS is also a very, very gracious way of handling the situation.

I guarantee you that with that method, someone ends up paying a lot more than they should. Someone who is too polite to call out their cheap friends and would rather just pony up the $10.

Then why not ask for your own check at the beginning of the meal? That’s easy on everyone.

I’m not talking about asking for separate checks (although I think most servers would tell you that they strongly prefer that you ask before you order), I’m talking about sitting at the table and making your little calculations before contributing. And then abdicating any responsibility for the balance.

Because inevitably, the person who is trying to keep it cheap eats the $4.75 soup and throws down $5, sticking everyone else with his or her share of the tax and tip and everyone else is gracious enough to just pay the difference. And if they do get called out, they accuse everyone else of nickel-and-dime’ing them.

Because it’s inconvenient for the server and tedious for your dining companions. And it becomes very treacherous when you maybe have different perceptions of just how much wine your drank or miscalculate what your share of the tax and tip ought to be - especially if your intent is to try to ensure that number is as…

Why don’t you ask for your own check at the beginning of the meal?

Then maybe this isn’t the right time to go out to eat with people? Or at least not people with whom you aren’t comfortable telling that you would like to get your own check at the start of the meal.

To me, part of a meal out with someone is sharing the experience of eating with them. If all I wanted was food, I could eat alone. There is an extra cost to sharing a meal with friends or family (whether it’s a slightly nicer restaurant than I would have chosen or a “shared” bottle of wine that I only drank a glass…

If it’s a consistent source of friction, why not just tell the server that you’ll be on separate checks at the start of the meal? If they press, tell them that it’s because you’re using a new budgeting app or something.

I always split the check with good friends with whom I eat out a lot. Sometimes the split is not totally fair (you had two glasses of wine, I had four; you had a salad and I didn’t) but it’s all a wash in the end. And my friendships are worth more than arguments over $20.

I still remember the moment I learned it too. It’s a real reality-check.

Yeah, if there’s one group of people who are bigger sticklers for rules and procedures than court clerks, it’s corrections officers.

If they’re very young (and especially girls), it’s often indicative of involvement in sex trafficking. Many pimps will send girls to get those awful face tattoos to both mark them and make them believe that they’re forever ruined so it’s not worth attempting to leave.

I suspect that she’s committed to the cause as long as it doesn’t cause her any actual discomfort (for example, the unpleasantness that would result to her personally if she resigned her stable and secure state job).

I know that we don’t want her to become a “martyr” for this cause by going to jail, I also really don’t think those convictions will hold her over for very long. Jail sucks.

“I am outraged that my actions have consequences.”

There are some real humorless sticklers around here. I say fake your own death. Not quite legal, I know - but as close as I can think of.

Has anyone also discussed that the antiquated State Department system doesn’t allow any kind of remote login? It’s so extreme that if you are traveling abroad (as many State employees do), the only way to check your official email is IN AN EMBASSY.