@bacon ninja!: Been hitting it from behind recently?

After a week of being mom for my little brother, I passed him off to our other sister for the weekend while I order Thai and watch a week's worth of DVR.

@RisaPlata: First, I eat the side chocolate off of a Snickers bar. And then the bottom chocolate. Then the nougat. Finally the top chocolate with the peanuts and caramel.

@whereismyrobot: I don't mean to make any judgments about the quality of your clothes but lower-quality fabrics (like old navy) in rich colors are often not colorfast. They're overdyed to look appealing in the store but the color isn't really meant to last.

Stains from lily pollen will come out with just a few hours in the sunshine.

I like it up the butt. (Am I playing this game right?!?)

@mass romantic: If I put mine in a loose bun to dry, that's pretty much the result I get and it lasts until the next wash but my hair tends towards wavy anyway.

@anteup lost her pizazz: If you talk to the admissions office they can probably connect you with current students who are willing to talk to incoming students.

@ingiepop: Do you know this puppy because I think that I love him. Please be sure you let him know.

@rixatrix (jezebel kink squad junior member): I made it past 27, I'm halfway through 30 and it just hit me in the last week. I'm gonna rest for a while and see if it clears up.

@welshdiminutiveofMargaret: feign terrible diarrhea.

Holy motherfuckers. I think I just realized that I'm ready to have kids. I didn't see this coming.

"Slut clutch"? We call that a "puta bag" and everyone has one.

@Pennyfeather: I'm hoping. He's already texted tonight to update me about his friend and to tell me he had a good time even though we had to end so suddenly.

@LucilleBluth: They do this. I've tried myself and when it comes to the moment of truth, they choke.

20 minutes into my date tonight, he took a call from someone who kept calling and then came back in and said that he needed to take his friend to the hospital. He's been sick for a week and I guess it got really bad. So I paid the bill while he was in the bathroom and then he brought me home (after asking me what…

@voteforme: That's pretty much where I'm at. I won't put myself at risk here and I think I'm going to tell her that if he isn't following my rules then I'll have to go back to the judge and tell him that I can't do what I said I would. And then it would be up to the judge to decide whether or not to revoke the…

Grrr... my little brother is living with me and I have some court-ordered responsibility for him right now. If I hadn't taken this on, he would be sitting in jail right now. And now his mom (not my mom) doesn't like my rules and has decided that what she says goes. She wants him to stay the night with her so…

@AspasiaTheLayza: Dish soap, windex, and 409 are all safe for even the most delicate of jewelry. The jeweler who sized and appraised my 100 year-old ring assured me and well, I trust him.

@sara cynthia sylvia stout: Bactine!