@quagmire: It's just part of the game. You're totally bachelor party buzzkill if you don't play scoldy.

I would like to thank everyone in CA for paying their taxes. I know that things are rough right now but the littlest Minderbender gets to go to free preschool all day every day and it's going to change his life. So, thanks.

@sarahbear: That's what I thought but the internet tells me that it can be a symptom of PMS. I would prefer that because it means it won't be around for long and it's not going to get worse.

Am I getting sick or is this PMS? Super sore throat and fatigue but no other symptoms yet. It's about that time but I've never had this sort of PMS before.

@cocobanal: Most of my limits are dictated by my clothes. I have such a huge range of sizes that it's guess-and-check half the time. But now nothing fits so it's time to pay a little more attention.

@greeneyedfem: You know, just having a baby isn't all you think. Cause then you gotta bring it home. And people expect you to take care of it. All the time! This shit is crazy, don't judge me.

@LaurieStrodeTheBoatAshore: Sell them?!? I'll pay you to take them!

@youngmanoldman: I take issue with the characterization of prostitution as the selling of one's body. How is labor done by my vagina any different from labor I do with my hands or my mind? What's the difference if not a belief that my entire being is somehow carried between my legs? Given proper circumstances, it's…

I just in the last ten minutes realized that I am getting sick. It's that sore throat feeling that comes on the day before - quick, what do I do?!? (Preferably without leaving my house.)

@PintoBeans: Just today it autocorrected my "blowjob" to "blowgun." That's not even a word!

@kittenlove: "….do NOT fucking come crying to me when the inevitable judicial foreclosure sale nets $34, a button, and some lint, all of which are devoured by the banks that are 20 miles ahead of you in creditor line. And do not ask me whether you are a junior or senior mortgagor, or whether you debt is secured, or…

Some comic relief for those of you bar-studying on this lovely Friday night: [legallynoted.wordpress.com]

@Pandorasvoicebox: Maybe you could hold just a little pocket money back when you send them your paychecks? They must understand that there are a few things that tuition doesn't cover.

@HallelujahRIP: Now you're just bragging.

@elijabet: She's learning self-calming and part of being a good parent is thinking about what's right for tomorrow, even if it's hard today.

@SomeAuthorGirl: I want to take StubHub back behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

@brandy_alexander: Yeah, his exact words were more along the lines of saying that I don't look like I'm giving out free blowjobs these days. You perhaps don't want to look quite like that. But I think that a lot of guys are looking for a green light - they need a cue that it's ok to move in. That can be hard if…

@brandy_alexander: I've had boyfriends, plenty of them. I hear that I'm attractive. Thing is, I haven't had sex in more than a year. I haven't even been kissed in six months. And not for lack of willingness on my part. The fish just aren't biting. I talked to a male friend (and also ex) and he said it's my…

@Residentdrunkgirl: That was my very first thought when I saw this headline.

@UUsprite: I think their primary market is women who work at Express.