BEYONCAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Letters From The County Jail: Jake Cooper, Inmate #312B66
The following is a letter, typed up in the format in which it was received, that we obtained as a result of a series of letters we sent to inmates contained in the less important locations of the North Carolina penal system (lol). The responses are voluntary in nature, and will hopefully shed light on the unique…
Do You Buy Name-Brand Cereals? Congratulations: You're Part Of The Problem
Class Warfare isn’t a theory, everyone. It’s in practice as we speak. Or praxis, I guess. To be honest, I’m not really sure what the term “praxis” means.
Watch New Tampa Bay Rowdies Star Joe Cole Bend The Rules Of Physics In This Amazing Highlight Video
If you’re a fan of American soccer, brace yourself- Joe Cole is coming stateside. Formerly of such prestigious clubs as mid-table giants Chelsea and 1966 World Cup champions West Ham United, the former England international announced today that he will soon take his mesmerizing dribbling skills and occasional ability…
Please Help Me Find My Baby
Have any of you seen a baby laying around? I’m missing mine. His name is Paulinho (DON’T ASK). He’s seven months old, and if I don’t find him soon his mother is going to beat the piss out of me.
It's All A Blur
The thing about having fucked up eyesight is that you only notice when someone else fills you in. If you break a limb or something like that, you have some sort of frame of reference to determine that something went wrong with you. You know there's not supposed to be pain, or swelling, or your tibia sticking out of…
Bear Report: February 23, 2015
And now it's time for another installment of Sidespin's Bear Report, a feature which provides an enlightening peek into the lives of Deadspin's unofficial mascot species. The Bear Report documents the habits and movements of a particular sleuth of Kodiak bears who make their home in a remote area of central Alaska.…
Rebutting Sam Kinison
Alphabet advice
Sexy Haiku: Fifty Shades of Brown
My tastes are... different.
The Adventures of Puddles, the Amazing Submarine Puppy
Chapter 1: Introduction
Ask Brendan: Liverpool's Smartest, Wisest, Most Bestest Manager
Hello, everyone. I'm Brendan Rodgers, the manager of... ah, who am I kidding. Everyone knows who I am. I've reinvented British football, after all. Hell, when you really think about it, my completely unique possession-based tactics have fundamentally changed this nation's sporting culture as we know it. When you ask…
TV Shows On In The Breakroom During Work, Ranked
1. Jerry Springer
A Brief Coffee Shop Vignette
Today's the day I finally do it, the man thought once again as he took his earbuds out and wound the cord tightly around his iPod, just outside of the same coffee shop that he had gone to daily for the last three months. While he had frequented the store on a semi-regular basis before, the daily visit was a recent…
Early Week Roundup
Let's be honest with ourselves, everyone: the Deadspin comment section is not quite what it used to be. Well-respected and talented regulars are dropping off one by one, and are being replaced by the cream of the dregs of the internet, with their bigotry, hackiness, moral grandstanding, and Futurama pictures. This is…
Tweet Beat(ings): Harry Redknapp Takes a Pounding
It’s been a rough few days for Queens Park Rangers manager Harry Redknapp.