It was  nice of you to include Gruden’s face in your picture.

We might not be able to change a racists’ mind but we can sure as shit change their wallet.

Ex-sperminate!

He looks like Darth Vader fucked a Dalek.

I just wish they would bring back intermission. All the AMCs by me have a bar nowadays, and by an hour into the movie, I usually have to piss like a race horse. A ten-minute intermission to use the bathroom and by snacks/drinks would only make them more money.

The unofficial intermission will be whenever the story begins to focus on Hawkeye.

Antonio Brown: Yeah, that’s your shoe, Ben. No texts in there. Pick your phone back up.

FBI Agents 1 and 2: [arrest Bell]

Big Ben: On closer inspection, these are loafers.

So many people do not understand the risk he takes by playing without having that longterm guaranteed money. The hundreds of people commenting on his posts about how he screwed them because they drafted him with their 1st round fantasy football pick is frankly disgusting. Who gives a shit that you drafted the guy, if…

Antonio Brown: Hey Ben, you see Lev’s new tweets? [hands Big Ben iPhone]

God that was epic!

Just before Gawkerpocalypse I saved that story as a PDF so I can revisit it from time to time.

I periodically still re-read that story.  They should contract her to do the same for the Endless Shrimp.

That was the single greatest story ever from this website’s single greatest writer ever.

“Whenever I go to Red Lobster, most of my fellow diners are there to celebrate a special occasion, a date, or a birthday”

Not a bad write-up. But I’m sure many of my fellow gawkfugees will agree, nothing will ever top caity’s endless apps mozzarella sticks writeup. (cached version)