Falcon McFalconface will be traded at the deadline for Pigeon McPigeonface and Edwin Jackson.

If this causes the death by starvation/thirst of the Gwyneth Paltrow-Dr. Oz-Deepak Chopra axis of evil and everyone involved with their lifestyle website, then I’m all for it.

If a tree is removed and no one was around to witness it, was it ever really there?

Sticking it to the Jets is more of a Sharks thing though.

I will eat the berry for lunch. 

Clearly this is just a way to capitalize on Kitten Mittens:

Watch out for the CD changer in the trunk

OH MAN THIS REMINDS ME OF THIS ONE TIME IN COLLEGE WHERE WE WERE DOING FIREBALL SHOTS OUT OF PEOPLE’S POO-HOLES (ANUSES) AND SOME WISECRACK THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE EVERYONE LMAO TO SET ONE ON FIRE. WHEN I SAW THAT GAPING MAW OF FIRE, TEQUILA, AND A SMALL DINGLEBERRY I THOUGHT “NO WAY BUT THIS IS COLLEGE AND THERE IS NO…

I too go on websites I don’t like in order to read things I hate and then create an account to complain about all of those aforementioned things.

Sorry I didn’t see this earlier, I was too busy buying avocados

OMG JOLIE IS BACK!!!!

You will need a screwdriver, a pair of tweezers, a magnifying glass (optional), some salt (~1tbsp), and a bag of chicken feed, preferably corn-based.

The Bill Nye show had some good ideas and some bad ones.

This act sends two distinct messages.

I respect a person’s right to choose who they give their business and financial support to for whatever personal reasons they may have. The world would be a better place if people stopped believing what they do doesn’t matter.

Sequels are never as good.

The jerseys will be auctioned off after the weekend

Does that mean every edited-for-TV version of a theatrical release was overseen by the director? Even the early TV edit of RoboCop where Emil(?) - toxic boy - wanders in front of Clarence Boddicker’s car and Boddicker inexplicably swerves around him instead of smashing him into tiny bits?

STUMP BEEFKNOB was deemed appropriate, though

I actually like throw-back and one-off jerseys quite a bit, provided they look good. The camo jerseys and the flag hats do not.