It’s moves like this that convince me that no one at Microsoft really knows what the fuck they’re doing. Like, it’s hard to believe that a company could fall up so far for so long, but here we are, you know?

In which theaters, exactly?

I just hope everyone is ready that this hearing won’t bring the Dumbass down today or tomorrow. Comey can’t and won’t reveal what the Russian investigation has found. It’s mostly going to be innuendo and suggestions of obstruction.

As someone who’s studied two East Asian languages and trained as a translator, I’m annoyed because I know talking about something as particular as pitching strategy and technique in a language you just started learning is really fucking difficult.

It shouldn’t be too difficult, there aren’t any letters to learn with unwritten rules.

I would agree to this if MLB also agreed to outlaw the Boston accent...and Red Sox fans...and the entire franchise.

You have to make sure you have an ink ribbon on hand so you can keep the results of the procedure.

I bet it was Wesker.

Oh, they might not know. But the graphic designer they hired, who has now fled with their money, knew full well what he/she’s doing.

In my one year of organized baseball, when I was ten years old, I had a moment very much like this. It was the closest I ever got to a noteworthy play. Other highlights included:

This article (or at least the headline) is really, really bad advice for anybody who lives in a city or suburb. Local governments have written laws explicitly addressing this. If you fail to mow your lawn and keep it at a reasonable length, the local municipal government will show up at your house and mow your lawn…

Another Skyline responsible for leaving big skid marks:

I live in chigger-country and appreciate being able to go outside my house without being eat up with bug bites. Also: snakes love high grass, so I’d also like to walk in my lawn without fear of stepping on one of those as well. Lastly, I like to actually go outside and do stuff and not have ass-high grass all around…

Because anything other than silently accepting their bullshit makes you psycho and there are a plethora of ‘Pick Mes!” who will put up with his madness to prove she’s not like those lesser women.

Ladies, you meet a man and ALL of his exes are psyhco? RUN! None of the relationships just fizzled out? No one moved to…

big idiot’s beef

“Dammit” backwards is “Tim mad.” [Head explodes]

Still better than a sammich from Primanti’s

Gotcha, thanks! Perhaps if I twittered, that wouldn’t have gone over my head.

Japanese guy wins a race and this guy clutches his Pearl Harbors.

I usually try to give emailers a chance by engaging at least once. Believe it or not, most of them turn out to be quite reasonable. Our pal Scot here was not.