You know why there's so many Cowboys fans from D.C. and P.G. County? Because our brilliant first owner, with a team in a city so black George Clinton referred to it as "Chocolate City," decided that instead of marketing to that built-in fanbase in his backyard, he would market instead to mouth-breathing southern…

I think this has been the best one so far.

Well someone had to take Heath Ledger's place in the sequel.

You're a moron.

Been waiting 12 months to hear from ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER again. Was not disappointed.

Isn't being a Lions fan bad enough? This article is all I have every season. Only the first line from my email got posted? :(

But, was it Anti-Semitic copper wire that they were waiting on? Maybe because a couple guys were playing with a penny that was born before 1963?

I went to Wake Forest during Caldwell's tenure. And was part of the marching band, so got to see every damn game home and away. Including the season when every away game was the other team's homecoming. That he's now a head coach in the NFL is just mind blowing. That a second team is giving him a chance? I can't…

Maybe Alice's family neglected to get a gate pass so a family member could escort her to the gate and instead fobbed mom off on a stranger. Oh wait. That's exactly what happened.

It does not sound like this woman should be traveling alone.

Unpopular Opinion: That's not their job? If you have a family member who has a form of dementia then you hire a CRN or an LPN to accompany that member for the duration of the trip. Like when I was a kid and I was flying internationally by myself I was always accompanied by my mom or another family member to and from.…

Fire. This. Motherfucker. Right. Now. If he made a joke about his black coworker being a criminal or his Latino coworker being an illegal immigrant or his gay coworker being a fairy, this would be national news and he would have been fired by the time the last whistle blew.

They'd probably try to treat it with rhino horn or tiger penis or some similar bullshit.

More importantly, driving while high is dangerous to other drivers and pedestrians.

"I bet you'd love a bounce on her falsies" is so quintessentially British, it conquered the world and then fell apart.

In 1991, women who had had sex ed, birth control and abortion available their whole lives were starting to have kids. These children have grown up in a world where birth control is ok and expected, and with less shame about sex (there's still too much idiocy and shame out there, but it's miles better than it used to…

This is really touching. She'll be shooting significant others through bathroom doors in no time.

I've gotta say, I've lost a ton of respect for Timmy. He claims to represent his country, but taking a year off like this is just about the most un-American thing you can do.

I realize Arizona is where lunatics go to die, but I have never seen funeral services advertised with prices, and certainly not prices that include cents.

"This is our most modestly priced receptacle."