I know that Tim Marchman did not make this list because Aaron Carter is not ranked #1 for vanquishing Shaquille O'Neal in his prime.

Look, I know this post isn't serious and we're on Deadspin and whatever - but please don't perpetuate that "no snitching" bullshit.

This is a mother fucking troll job of the highest order. Why not put Jagged Metal Krusty-Os on the list? Or maybe one of those bagged Malt-O-Meal knockoffs? Or Chocolate-Frosted Sugar Bombs? Ranking Grape Nuts 18 spots above Cinnamon Toast Crunch invalidates your list. Ranking Grape Nuts even one spot above a…

Sealy, feel me, touchy wheelie.

The amount of energy you put into a complete "who gives a shit" issue....staggering. Just staggering.

I think the most horrifying part of this article was that Adonal Foyle was getting paid to not play basketball as recently as 2009.

Telling you that you're an asshole is not actually the same thing as defending Ley. Watch this:

"Hey how can I be the biggest asshole possible here? Wait, I got it!"

MEN'S LACROSSE

UEFA: [hands out four-match ban]

This flag has much more history in Georgia than the Confederate Battle Flag. It's also not ass-ugly like the Confederate Battle Flag.

Somebody on the forum's sister-in-law makes 36K a month, all from home! You should definitely click on one of those links.

Any suburban dad will tell you that buying a minivan is actually the first sign of giving up.

Fuck football.

Dude, nobody's allowed to treat anybody like that, ever. Who raised some of y'all?

♬ Rape meeeeeee....Rape me, my friend ♬
Mornin' gang, Father Mike here with a few announcements...

Nick Denton: [Reads blueandorange93's comment]

"After the Tip, Can't Sto pEnnis!"

I found the report to be very dubious after reading this line:

"You get 50 percent, which I always thought was BS considering the Redskins cheerleaders use the same salon and get their hair done for free."

There is no way the Redskins front office worked a better deal for anything than the Ravens front office. That…

A friend of mine was an NFL cheerleader. She quit to be a dancer in a cage in a casino because the pay was better and the work was less degrading. I wish I were making this up.