when I watch pornography, the last thing I'm thinking is, my stars, do you know what would make this sad solo masturbatory experience even better? If I were actually inside the soulless McMansion where this sex was filmed, nostrils full of the scent of crotch and lube, face like 2 inches from smacking flesh

Although, to be fair, it was responsible for the best movie review I've ever read:

I'm actually running a *10 year old G5* in my studio and just now looking to upgrade because the version of iTunes it will run can't handle syncing with iOS7.

WAIT- Are you telling me that the Shake Weight....

Yes, it looks exactly like what you're thinking of. In fact, it looks worse.

#8: While I won't argue that fantasy literature appeals to most Neopagans (and can certainly be an inspiration), there's absolutely no basis for the statement that Welsh is a "predominant ritual language". Most Neopagans, especially Wiccans, just use their native language. If someone's going to use a different…