In her FB post she says she didn’t sue because the money wasn’t important to her. I bet the money is important to him though, so I wish she’d continued legal action.

If you’re in your house when it happens and so are the rest of your clothes, are other clothes less contaminated than the ones you were wearing? Are we all chillin’ naked listening to the radio?

She’s hilarious on New Girl.

I have an uncle like that. He’s a tickler. I think when I was around fourteen he reached out toward me and I stepped back, looked him hard in the eye and said “don’t ever touch me again. Ever.” And the fact that he didn’t ever touch me again confirms for me that he is the creep I thought he was, and a coward to…

You’re not his nurse though, right?

No, I like legit went through an intense Bee Gee’s stage as a 14 year old in 1996, so I was very uncool. And then it was just like all Poe and Liz Phair all the time.

Boys get plenty of slack.

Sounds like that teacher was aware enough for everyone.

High school me would just have just said fuck it and chucked the bra. If you thought the straps were distracting wait until you see these G’s sway.

Americans: What if the completely unqualified president was handsome and seemed nice and fun instead of mean and terrible?

We had a bunch of kids behind us who were older, but not old enough. They talked a lot, they didn’t understand the jokes and were asking their parents what things meant. If your kid isn’t old or mature enough to be quiet, they aren’t old or mature enough to go to the movie. I once took a five year old to March of…

I complained to an usher one time, and it was because a man opened his pants and then fell asleep, snoring really loudly. They asked him to leave.

The woman directly in front of me at Guardians of the Galaxy texted the entire time. I quietly seethed instead of asking her to stop. It’s so hard to confront people sometimes.

I hear you.

Someone yelled a mean, fat shaming thing at me from their car two weeks before my wedding. I was walking from the gym, in my gym clothes, to the restaurant where we were having our rehearsal dinner to confirm the menu. I cried for days. My husband was with me. I felt humiliated, as though he maybe hadn’t known that…

When this happened I felt visceral vicarious shame as a fat person who goes to the gym. I couldn’t bring myself to go into the locker room for weeks. Fuck this woman and her sorry excuses.

Hopefully this was a public lecture attended by people who wanted to hear your thoughts about whether or not they should drink juice.

Somebody start a change.org petition to get the white egg removed from this list.

I just don’t know if I can even feel proud to live in a country where the President doesn’t own a modeling agency.

(I just want to be super clear that that isn’t me in the picture. I’m a normal pretty fat lady, not a model in super cool shoes.)