Can’t make this stuff up.

Yeah. Its a true story man. The kid couldn’t get it started but threw 2 pipe bombs and they (Swat/Bomb Squad) evacuated the school to detonate the other pipe bombs. The kid was recently expelled and it was like the 3rd day of school for the year.

Who the hell just lets a fart fly in a restaurant like it’s nothing? I’ll run to the bathroom if I have to.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TELL THE STORY

I ALSO have a really good story about Third Eye Blind eating at this restaurant. It's actually beautiful.

You are now officially my favorite.

Did you mean an actual pearl necklace or...?

1) You are a legend and 2) I would singlehandedly keep that place busy in the winter. I miss having a slow season. And I love margaritas.

Tell me you did a victory lap around that place later on.

SO
MUCH
WIN

I was working at a margarita bar on the water, so winter was slow. We relied on our regulars, a few of which were a group of late twenties bro dudes who would come in for nachos and fish bowl sized margaritas. They were generally ok, except they LOVED to flirt with all of the female staff, despite none of us being…

Wow. Mind sufficiently blown. Now I have a righteous feeling about not eating at any of these places.

NO.

We're not talking about getting mugged, we're talking about fucking rape. It is not as if women don't fear getting robbed, they just fear rape more. You, as might-be-mugged guy, might cross the street, hide your iPhone, walk around with less money. A woman, not to be raped, must do what? Grow a penis? I am a guy but,…

My Spotify is constantly recommending bad pop music to me, because I use it for my workout playlist which is heavy on the Ke$ha and Pink.