That was definitely an answer brought to you by an endorphin and adrenaline high because you HAVE to be high on something, anything, everything to say you'd want to date Justin Beiber.

I think my Aunt Phoebe wore this exact outfit in 1996 while power walking to her job as a high school Biology teacher.

Obama doing the Dougie is kind of like when your drunk uncle sings Piano Man at karaoke because a)that is the last song he memorized the words to and b) he fancied himself quite the singer in high school, before all the Rolling Rock gave him a third trimester beer belly. At least he didn't twerk.

MOUTH RAPE SUPER FUN TIME, Y'ALL. This is why I drink PBR. Well, also because I'm broke, so...

MOUTH RAPE SUPER FUN TIME, Y'ALL. This is why I drink PBR. Well, also because I'm broke, so...

MOUTH RAPE SUPER FUN TIME, Y'ALL. This is why I drink PBR. Well, also because I'm broke, so...

See, I consider myself both a feminist and also a fucking babe, but I have glasses, a mostly shaved head and I'm a size 8/10. The best thing feminism has done for me, honestly, is help me create an identity I feel comfortable with. Ten years ago, I was a long haired cheerleader with an eating disorder who self harmed…

See, I consider myself both a feminist and also a fucking babe, but I have glasses, a mostly shaved head and I'm a size 8/10. The best thing feminism has done for me, honestly, is help me create an identity I feel comfortable with. Ten years ago, I was a long haired cheerleader with an eating disorder who self harmed…

See, I consider myself both a feminist and also a fucking babe, but I have glasses, a mostly shaved head and I'm a size 8/10. The best thing feminism has done for me, honestly, is help me create an identity I feel comfortable with. Ten years ago, I was a long haired cheerleader with an eating disorder who self harmed…

Or their satisfying intercourse.

Or their satisfying intercourse.

Dude, FUCK YOU, I'm smokin'. Don't misunderstand me.

Dude, FUCK YOU, I'm smokin'. Don't misunderstand me.

WYATT CENAC, YES PLEASE. He's so deadpan. I want him to make fun of me for being a space shot and be completely right about it. Also, I met Aziz Ansari when I lived in L.A in 2008 and he is a very well dressed man and super adorable and made jokes throughout the dinner party we were at without dominating the…

Seriously looks like someone's mom went to Joann's Fabrics and got the sale "satin blend" fabric. I can't believe no one has mentioned how god awful this whole look is. Those colors don't even compliment each other! Aubrey, you're killing me!

Seriously! My boobs/upper arms are ALWAYS puffy. I'm short and built like a brick house (5'2, 34C, little waist, size 8 booty) and when I work out, I don't even lose weight, I just build muscle like crazy. I will never be svelte and dainty, so I just work with what I got. And part of that means avoiding strapless…

Lena- I feel u, grrl. I, too, am a curvy lady and I get that awkward combo armpit/boob puffy fat spillage when I wear a strapless dress, or a dress that is too tight. Posture is the key. You got the hand on hip move down- that serves to create the optical illusion that the grilled cheese you ate yesterday hasn't…

Full disclosure HERE: I used to party with Kesha in l.a in around 2008, when I worked at an indie record label. Her best friend Kerry was a friend of mine and we all used to go to this random flophouse in Hollywood and do every fucking drug imaginable. There was a lot of whiskey (good call on the Jim Beam), coke,…

Full disclosure HERE: I used to party with Kesha in l.a in around 2008, when I worked at an indie record label. Her best friend Kerry was a friend of mine and we all used to go to this random flophouse in Hollywood and do every fucking drug imaginable. There was a lot of whiskey (good call on the Jim Beam), coke,…

SERIOUSLY IMPORTANT QUESTION: I don't have time for a boyfriend right now, but I found a suuuuuper cute, smart, bearded, beanie wearing dude and we've been on three dates in a week and finally fucked. Problem: I don't know if he's looking for dating or booty calls. He brought a 24 pack of condoms with him and asked if…