LOL @ wizened tangerine

NARS Multiple in Portofino is my favorite thing. I always have Maybelline Great Lash waterproof mascara and e.l.f. liquid eyeliner and mineral powder foundation

I had two in each nipple like this: + . The horizontal ones hurt and the vertical ones hurt worse, but it’s over quickly and they healed without issue. I didn’t notice a change in sensitivity. The annoying thing about them is catching them on stuff like your bfs fringed blanket or a shower pouf.

You guys, I’m exhausted with this shit. Will they ever fucking stop? Will they ever just let it fucking go that women have a legal right to something they don’t approve of? I am so over this bullshit.

Dude I wanna play d&d with jezzies!

ily

Now I want botox!

It is the alpha and omega of botox cry-face. Truly spectacular

Botox cry-face is my favorite thing rn

Spaghettios?

I’m vegan so I admit I’m completely out of the breakfast meats loop, but

My husband is 100% convinced that Trump orchestrated El Chapo’s escape and subsequent Twitter threats to lend more credence to his “all Mexicans are dangerous criminals” bullshit and to harness the power of GOP racism to further his candidacy.

This is what happens when my husband shaves

I’m late to the party so this will probably be stuck in the greys forever. I’m 22 weeks pregnant, having a fibro flare and miserable.

Also, why doesn’t kinja have a DM function so I can discreetly get the Twitter handles of all the most amusing commenters?

I finally joined Twitter. Who should I follow?

Guacamole = avocados, lime juice and salt.

I’m super into this medieval goth nun thing happening in the photo. A+

If it wasn’t approximately the surface temperature of the sun in my house I’d lay out my favorite of my husband’s henleys and be like