THANKS FOR THE NIGHTMARE FUEL 'PRECIATE IT BUDDY

I can't say that that's comforting Fluter.

Apparently the people who rented our apartment before we did used to clip their nails over the bathroom sink.

I know, because when it stopped up we snaked it and thousands of nasty, half-rotted toenails spewed forth.

I still can't put my face near the sink.

Oh, come on. COME ON. You are being weird and whiney right now. No one is condoning standing people up. It's a dick move. NO ONE CARES YOU ARE MALE. NO ONE. Not one person. It is neither here nor there. You are making this about you because you are entitled and a little deluded and really, really bad at staying…

I don't give two shits about your sex. I do think standing someone up is shitty. I have no idea if her cat really did get lost. I don't care. Standing outside in the heat for two hours and not getting a drink shows a real inability to care for yourself on the most basic level and that has NOTHING to do with that woman.

If you actually suffered dehydration in Herald Square (otherwise known as the corner of NYC with a million hot dog vendors and shops where you can BUY water) you're a fucking idiot and Darwin would be happy if you didn't reproduce.

I'm having a great idea for a TV show right now. Basically, women who receive threatening/abusive messages from a dude on dating sites submit the guy's profile to the show, who then lure the guy into a date with a fake profile. When the guy shows up for the date, rather than the way-out-of-his-league woman he was…

That's just for my comment here. I was looking for a fun way to refer to cunnilingus. I don't know if I "do it so well" or not. I mean, I have an idea, but I feel like I would be saying too much.

NO HE PUT HIS HAND ON MY CEILING HIS GROSS HANDPRINT IS STLL THERE IDK HOW TO GET IT OFF???

Longtime lurker here, not a troll. I have to post because the OK Cupid guy with the epic list of impossible demands (http://jezebel.com/this-is-the-mo…) is still online and he liked me!!!! Despite me being a real live human being and thus not at all what he's looking for.

Professor Gates arrested on his own porch because a white woman though he was suspicions , A young man killed in Ohio Walmart (open carry state) with a BB gun whilst in the TOY section where they were sold because a White man called 911 re a dangerous black man, A father in Minn sitting on a bench (normally…

Amazing how quickly they will rush to save the world from a black woman. Ten years ago I was out for Halloween. A highly intoxicated and possibly high woman started chatting to me at the bus stop. Suddenly this car pulls up and this group of guys asks her to come to a party with them. And she's all "I'd better go…

Happened to me in NYC. The only thing that shut down the questioning was the fact that they suddenly noticed that I was carrying a massive fucking bag with my laptop and about 4 books (seems an inconvenient thing to carry around while working). A massive bag that it took 10 minutes (or what felt like 10 minutes) to…

Can I tell it to you from the opposite perspective? When I was online dating, I was contacted many, many times by white men who said they "usually don't find [my] race attractive." (That is my face in my avatar.) They never imagined a black woman could look like me. Many black women look like me (see: my family).…

Whatever happened to letting people find out you're crazy the old-fashioned way?

Whoa, which book was the female circumcision in? I admit, I skipped around to the "good parts" quite a lot, so I wasn't paying all that much attention to the overall story.

Hello fellow sleep traveler! There is something about the noise of the plane that knocks me out. I curl up in a ball too! Are you a short person? Seriously, if I have a window seat I turn toward the back of the seat, curl up and bam, asleep.

immediately tear off my clothes and fashion my own toga out of the torn remnants.

Everybody owns clothes that are in between what you'd wear to exercise or scrub the floor and what you'd wear to impress people, right? Comfy jeans, cardigans, t-shirts that fit and don't have any stains? Like, the stuff you'd put on if you were meeting an old friend at Chipotle and didn't want to look totally gross,…