As a photographer I am much more disturbed by the tragic Uncle Terry style lighting. It's harshing my mellow.

Stop spending the holidays with those people. Who needs that shit?

I have always felt judged at the gym or had this vague vibe of competitiveness, which makes no sense for someone as non-competitive as me. Numerous times, more than I can count, I have been on the treadmill or elliptical and another woman (very rarely a man) will get on the machine beside and then, no matter how fast…

I think that a completely ripped, perfectly tanned person of your preferred gender follows you around with a palm frond and respectfully murmurs "we are not worthy" while you do your reps.

I go to Chelsea Piers here in Manhattan. Its super expensive, but at any one time, I might be working out next to Jake Gyllenhal or Andrew Garfield.

I'm surprised there are stock photos of bewildered monkeys observing new and acrobatic sex positions.

Either there's a harness just off-screen, or that's a really good 'shop job. No way someone could hold that position without about another 100 pounds of pure muscle.

My husband is more than twice my weight, but I'm still going to ask him if he wants to try this just so I can see his reaction.

Note to self: NSFW means EXACTLY THAT! NSFW!

If she's that strong, I would prefer she just carry me around, Arianna Grande-style.

You said that so politely!

Oh, I totally empathise with the child-free passengers, don't get me wrong. I'm a very frequent flier and was in my pre-baby days, too. I've been trapped on planes with crying babies and wanted to smash my skull in, because there's nothing worse than being trapped in a tin box for hours with a crying child. But what…

Replying to my own comment but ERMAHGERRDD there is a Kinja user called Little Roo and that is my nickname for said crying toddler ERMAHGERDDDSSS

Pfft, I am on the mother's side here.

Your avatar is fantastically appropriate here.

Yes! I think this is the most important point. Whatever you say, say it with purpose. Nobody wants to hear, "Umm, I want to, umm, fuck your, umm, pussy. I mean, like, not if you don't want it, but like, yeah. Pussy."

If you can pull off "jam that wang in my cooter" with chutzpah, you've got some serious, sexual gravitas.

Both of your responses to me on this thread have caused audible laughter. Well done.

You can get around it, and you are likely better off.