i hope he steps on a lego

“Have I personally insulted anyone?”

I’m from Indiana and I read this story on our local news wthr.com. I made the horrific mistake of reading the comments.

Wait - this wedding?

My cat is a dumbass who destroys literally everything but I still love him. He has cute eyes. He depends on me to take care of his fuzzy butt. I mean, I could get rid of him, it would save me a ton of money that I don’t really have to waste, but he’s my cat. There’s an obligation.

I have been very cold at a wedding, a fact which I will discuss with my (even more critical) MIL sometimes, since it was a family wedding. But I wouldn’t discuss it in a place where the couple might see it! (I mean, they knew it was cold, too, obviously. It was still a lovely event.)

I wanted to kill my friend at her wedding but I kept my damn mouth shut because it wasn’t my damn wedding. She had a March wedding and it was cold AS FUCK (it started snowing during the ceremony) and while they had room to move the ceremony inside (and offered, several times), she was insistent on keeping the ceremony…

Your wedding sounds goddamned delightful. I want to start a service where, if you know you have to invite someone awful, you invite me and I glare at them and eat the food and gush about how good it is to you. Like a designated mourner, but for weddings.

My wedding had exactly one problem: it was colder than anticipated, so we had to cut the outdoor cocktail hour short and move it into the dinner tent. Which was heated. Also, warmed beverages were served.

I think hell for the bigots would involve having to be in the same room as the homosexuals, so...

Scares me a bit, and I’m always shocked by this news because everything I’ve ever backed is still going strong.

One of the best things I've ever backed on KS

Exploding Kittens. Best $35 I’ve ever spent. :D

“Do things ever get finished on kickstarter? Fund me now and get free potato salad!”

And it’s a bit depressing that one of the few outlets doing it is a website that spends most of its time on articles like 10 Disney Princes With Hot Butts.

Dolores Bridge is the scariest Potter villian because she's the most real. All of us might know someone who is a little like her.

You actually do neither of those things. Just call home and tell the parent she can’t wear the shirt again. Sending her home causes her to miss class time (and is essentially a suspension) and giving her a loaner can be humiliating, when the child actually did nothing wrong. This is an adult issue.

Well, it’s nice to know Dolores Umbridge as a Mean Girl has found another school administration job.

I was a lion several years running. Man, I loved that costume. I HAD A TAIL.