If I was ever a history teacher I would just show these episodes to help students understand history better.

Do you have a link to the monogrammed thermos story? Actually, this site ought to have an archive of iconic stories so the latecomers can catch up.

The sad part was trying to remember *which* breadstick story it was. Although yeah, that’s the one I thought. (Had no idea originally it was a Fazoli’s, though. Heard of them, seen them, never gone into one.)

It absolutely is. “I don’t want your meatballs” is my new favorite way to tell someone to fuck off.

The soup of the day is usually Hitler miss, but I’m sure you’ll just Goebbels up today’s gestapo soup.

I think this is one of the most entertaining shop contests I’ve seen thus far.

I know I’ve joked about it before. After a particularly hard day “I might call in dead tomorrow.” When the schedule is tight, especially on a weekend. “Anybody who calls in on Saturday had better be calling in dead.”

Didn't know calling in dead was a thing. Totally trying that out tomorrow.

In the city I live in, there are gay bars, some of which I’ve been to with friends. I don’t complain that they call it a “gay bar”.

Just to be clear, by ‘Devil’s Advocate’ you really mean ‘Homophobe Apologist’, right?

SO THIS. For every unaware woman who blithely declares “I’m not a feminist,” the response should be “Why the everloving fuck aren’t you?”

trump WILL take care of women! We all get an elegant cubic zirconia tennis bracelet and a marble toilet seat on inauguration day. :D

Bernie’s lack of caring about how he looks is partially why he is a winner, though.

THANK YOU, Bernie Sanders. Imma gonna go donate 5 dollars right now.

People still think rubbing a puppy’s nose in its own piss on the carpet is an effective way of potty training it

you can tell when someone has never worked retail, because they don’t recognize “the back” as a place that retail employees go to hide for 5 minutes on the pretense of looking for something they know doesn’t exist

Oh everyone but Dave raved about the menu, it was a pretty fantastic professional debut I have to say.

Ummm can we have a Pissing Contest for weirdest birthday gifts? 10/10, would read more.