Yeah fuck Austin.

Don’t worry, pardner. Somewhere, out there, there’s a guy takin’ it easy for all of us. Keepin’ that dream alive. A hero. A dude.

“It’s real to me”

I wouldn’t brag about only having two friends.

His big priority in free agency was starting, so considering the Nets trotted out Jarrett Jack, Donald Sloan, and Shane Larkin last year, he probably liked his odds there.

I’m not a huge fan of any of the “all-in-one player assessment” stats, but I went to basketball-reference to check what the 1996 equivalent of a Durant/Westbrook team would be. Interesting to see the shift in what types of player were valuable under the old rules: the ‘96 lists are basically Jordan plus a bunch of…

But the real question is how do you park?

With Trump as the nominee I can’t even begin to decide how I feel about the issues. It’s just clear I don’t want him representing the United States in any capacity. Hell, I wouldn’t hire him to represent a hot dog stand.

Trump has already dispatched his crack team of birth certificate investigators to Cuba.

I think this is true of all generations. The only difference is that you weren’t around yet when all the baby boomers (for example) with poor work ethics fizzled out and left your industry, but it definitely happened to them too. In ten or so years, all the shitty millennials will be out of the rat race and the…

I spent three glorious weeks in Hawaii (courtesy of work) and spent all my spare time (and money) half-drunk, sun-dazed, and stuffed with sushi, hitch-hiking around. It was awesome, but I can't say I would want to live there full time (although the water was so insanely beautiful)

He definitely looks in perfect form to lose to the Warriors in 5.

“THE SEDUCTION”

Andre Miller and Kevin Martin don’t really put anybody over the top on their own, but look at the potential second wave of Spurs:

Popovich went on, “It would be great to get our team to unite like that. It’s something Tim [Duncan] and I have talked about for a long time, since we were in high school together.”

We moved when I was 7 years old, and in the midst of schlepping things out of the U-Haul and into the house, my father lined up, made his approach, and rolled his bowling ball across the front lawn of the new house.

He then turned to me and said “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

“Aron! What are you drinking for?!?”

This is like reading the great restaurant horror stories on kitchenette.jezebel.com. Love it.

My first car was Elvira...because I was a teenage goth girl. She even featured a black rubber bat hanging from the mirror. My husband is against naming cars, so my Fiat 500 is just "little one" and my Vette is "my baby" or "princess." However, little one is being swapped for an Abarth in a week or so (primarily…

That was amazing. The "Why I Read Jalopnik Every Day" pie chart is now over 60% Doug DeMuro.