Love this. It's what I've been saying to all my fellow Cleveland buddies since we drafted him: I'm sick of all these goody-good QBs we get... I don't fucking care about the amazing thing Brandon Weeden did for his dad, or the awesome "unselfish deed" Brady Quinn/Derek Anderson/Jason Campbell/Spergon Wynn/etc.…

Unless, of course, he wants to build that house from scratch. Sadly, not a ton of teams remain positively void of Superbowl appearances. Cleveland is in that camp. Want to make a name for yourself? Take a team from worst to first. #factoryofswagness

But when he's not hoopin' it up he's mild-mannered student Cl- ... Oh fuck it, those glasses are the worst disguise ever!

Sullivan's final wish is to be buried in a convoluted plot.

is the name of the knicks D-league team "The New York Knicks"?

Sure, she won $11,000.00, but after taxes, well, you know her poor kid is still going to suffer the indignity of watching this for an entire lifetime.

Thank you, highlight truther.

And all the Whos that had already left Whosville tried desperately to get back in.

Well at least this settles the whole debate about whether D.C. is a Northern town or a Southern town . . . . putting your balls in the hands of your Cousins is a time-honored tradition in the South.

I'll always be right here, In your heart.

Trent Richardson must have lost a bet or something too. I heard he has to wear a practice squad jersey to the Colts facility all week.

I'm standing there, and there's blood all over the bathroom floor. All over the walls, the shower curtain, it's in the goddamn sink. So I turn to Greg, and I'm like, "Did you have to use the chainsaw, dude?" But Schiano, he just smiles, drops the saw, and takes a bite out of Goodell's liver. And then, get this, he…

It's entirely possible he was remembering the gone-too-young Paul Walker. A local TV station posted on Facebook that we "share our memories" of Paul in the comment section. As Knowshon knows, this can be difficult. Soooo many memories, but this is my fondest:

Call me when he can predict ice cream headaches.

If there's a way to profit from football no one watches, the Jaguars would like to know about it.

This is the first shot I took for Athletes Among Us. I'm lucky it turned out so well, otherwise I may have stopped before I started. I had the idea for this shot but no permission to use the location, so we practiced the shot in the parking lot. Once we were ready we walked in the store, but before we could get the…

Looks like there are plenty of folks pointing out how stupid this is, so I'm free to point out that it's also kind of brilliant.

A lot of people go great lengths to avoid going to Detroit. This lady can say she went 13.1 miles.

Because boxing.