I thought that looked cool.

Oh good they got caught.

I’m going to victim blame here and say that house shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

Gawdzilla...I am proud to say that I am, in fact, the ugly one in the relationship. Isn’t that really always the goal? However, I do have some redeeming qualities...I just can’t think of them right now, I swear.

Sigh...1) my wife coerced me into it. She played the “I never got a chance to pick out a new car” line on me, combined with “we’re supposed to be equal partners” bit. 2) It was almost six weeks after the birth of our son. I was sexually frustrated & not thinking clearly. 3) I didn’t even know about Jalopnik back then.

I didn’t, only because I was ordered early and received quite a hefty discount. $16k off retail on a fully optioned model. At the time I unloaded it, I had it just under a year and I only had 5.5k miles on it.

Obligatory whenever someone mentions a Daewoo Lanos:

Sounds like your Taurus had the 3L Vulcan engine. The 3L Duratec is a much better fit - 155HP vs 200HP.

Son wouldn’t learn stick? Sounds like you just need a new son.

I was looking for the word Tilkedromes. Thank you, I couldn’t pull that out of my head to save my life.  

I live here and I can testify that Texans love change.

Two words: Road course.

Part of the problem is that SMI owns a large contingent of tracks, almost all of which have spots on the NASCAR schedule. SMI has a lot of clout with NASCAR. If they don’t want something to happen, that thing won’t happen.

This 4 year-old is more erudite and eloquent than most adults I know. She’s also better dressed (the hair bow matches the dress in every picture on the web).

4 years old. And 4 million times more fluent than our peotus.

She’s really adorable and gives me hope for the future but...

Yes it’s so infuriating that ball-kicking is considered OFF LIMITS. If men don’t want to be kicked in the balls, maybe they should stop ASKING FOR IT by doing fucked-up shit that makes you have to kick them in the balls!

“It’s disgusting how easily they can divide us.”

This was amazing. Thank you for writing!