Early in our dating years, my wife walked in on me (as girlfriends tend to do, goddammit) whilst in mid-wipe.

@Rainbow Bright: Blew.

@DirkToberFest: Jackie Jormp-Jomp?

@umlaut75: College football players doing research? Now who's the naive one?

@MarkKelsosMigraine: Hey, let's not let facts get in the way of a well-constructed jo....nevermind.

They still print baseball cards when the player has stopped playing? If so, I can't wait to get my hands on a 2009 Lou Gehrig.

@Ron Dayne's strict diet: I remember Wall Ball very well. Every year it would get banned, but sure enough, it would come back the next year.

Remember Alf? He's back!...in tramp-stamp form.

Bush, search party of 3! The Dufresnes are locked in the trunk of somebody's car in Panama, and worst of all, they're hungry!

@Clarence Rosario: Oregon State's got that covered: [www.gazettetimes.com]

@Ailatan: Is Uruguay any good? South Africa isn't, and France barely skated on in. G is definitely the toughest group though.

I don't think Greece could have gotten a worse draw. Repeat of 1994 all over again.

@Volsciana: Thank you, good citizen!

@StevieFranchise: Hey, remember when Boise St. beat an elite Oklahoma team? Or when an unbeaten Utah team beat the pants off an elite SEC defense in Alabama last year? Or when Cincinnati beat Oregon State, who might be playing in the Rose Bowl this year?

@Katie Hamilton's GRIP: Radio stations will keep those machines around because a lot of old material is stored in that format. Nonetheless, I applaud the joke.

Drew is totally right about the "foreign relatives calling" problem. It forces me to speak broken English in a terrible Greek accent.

You would think that an ability to spell would be a prerequisite for getting into Yale (check the couch).

@Gravy: Lord help us if twoeightnine responded to these guys.

@parsley sagehenbait rosemary and thyme: He should be fired just for that entire sequence—if anyone should be fired for one play, it's him. But yes, the lying does entitle you to do the second part of your comment, and I'd probably join in as well.

@Convict78: And smart to boot (graduated from my alma mater). Was her special on?