If someone gives you 10,000 to 1 odds, you take it.

@ReturnofClintonPortishead: +1. When life gives you lemons, you paint that shit gold.

Matt Barnes: "I don't like people PLAYING ON MY PHONE!"

I'm sure one of those random prospects will turn out to be the next Miggy C or Dontrelle. I have total faith!

@Dr. Michael Mancini: You don't even JOKE about Curley Hallman.

Suss, I think you need a "Toretta" in your Weinkecrouch.

@kbjone: Frankly, I'd settle for a non-idiot. That fat fuck is the reincarnation of Jaime Howard.

I'm all for finding more random sports-related Salma stories. Let's make this a priority.

@Yostal: We don't breed 'em particularly smart down there. No time for yer fancy book-learnin'.

@algiers4: Almost makes me wish that the bar I was had the sound on. Then again, my muttering "jesus fucking christ" might have overpowered it.

BRING ME THE HEAD OF JARRETT LEE!

"We'll miss the Itchy and Scratchy where they finally kiss."

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: +1, asymptote, I guess.

We. Did. It.

After spending the first half of the year drumming up support in Oregon, and then spending the day as an election observer in Pennsylvania, I'd like to think all credit should heading my way. Nah, just kidding.

@Greek McPapadopoulos: Just to be a douche, seemed like my initial suspicions were correct.

Too bad Nicole went to the Beyonce School of Acting.

There's no way all these girls are pursuing science degrees.

Somebody's been watching a lot of Shaolin Soccer.

@UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen: Paul Gleason. I always loved when he showed up in random roles.