The Yankees outlawed this drill when the nets weren’t high enough to keep Johnny Damon from scuffing the drywall

It’s ok, they’ll just fill in the gaps with CGI and the horse’s brother.

Just put in a blue screen, and that should make the passengers remember windows, and not miss them.

Wait until he sees the full list of things he can’t do any longer.

Can we just skip right to the Winter Olympics so I can soothe my brain with hours of curling again?

For those interested in knowing why this is happening I present to you the following information and you can take from it what you will.

To all my fellow West Coastians, STOP DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS! I'm cold and have like 1 jacket. That is all.

1. It’s BlackFlag, not Jalopnik.

BREAKING: COMBAT SPORTS ATTRACT AGGRESSIVE INDIVIDUALS

I live in upstate NY. Damn Canadian geese are always all over the place, crapping everywhere. Stupid NAFTA.

“Inside this secret room is an exotic chest containing the Sleeper Simulant. “

I’m a Mets fan (so obviously hoping for a quick exit from LA) but can definitely see why a baseball fan would root for the Dodgers. Clayton. Kershaw. The man is the Maddux of the younger generation. But he is stuck with this “unclutch” narrative that is garbage IMO. Baseball is a 162 game season and we judge a pitcher…

My fondest memories of my youth were waking up early and going to Echo Lake on a pristine Saturday morning to fish with my dad. I’d spend an hour looking for just that perfect stone that was flat and would fit exactly in my hand for that awesome throw. Waiting for that moment when the surface of the lake was free of…

Curse you Arizona, that was California's yearly allowance, give it back!

I think what Goodell is trying to say is that he personally believes that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they…

Install a bigger laser in the plane and shine it back, arrest the people who come into the hospital with laser burns.

Even fridge space gets co-opted. You will never buy a cold 30-pack at the store again, or else you will get The Look.

Ronaldo lasts 5 seconds before losing the ball. While referee’s back is turned, Ronaldo kicks the dog in the ribs while he is lying on ground whining about lack of a card being shown to dog. In 3 seconds, pit bull rips out Ronaldo’s trachea. Crowd cheers. Dog wins Ballon d’Or.

Tuesday is my 25th Wedding Anniversary. My wife and I will be celebrating by sitting at our side-by-side computers watching stuff come in from New Horizons with all of you while the TV on the wall behind them shows the MLB AllStar Game. What a grand day!

He’s only one point behind Fernando Alonso.