To the small sliver of BAHSTON STRONG people personally affected by the bombing, my apologies. I suspect you’re not a part of that sliver though, so fuck you.

Also can I say fuck “Boston Strong” too? Being in Worcester when a bomb went off and killed some people you have no relation to does not make you stronger. You’re still a douchebag.

The amazing thing about The Pats and their *fan base* is that most of them didn’t give a shit about this team prior to 2001 but now they act like they’re The Green Bay Packers with 75 years of history. I remember back to the glorious days when Marino & Kelly would shit all over them and no one in Boston gave a shit…

Also this.

The fans really can’t use the heat as an excuse. Washington sports fans have made it perfectly clear that they are okay with red skin.

DC sports fans are usually pretty bad but you can't be serious if you claim that Philly fans are better than any other fans. Then again maybe you've taken too many batteries to the head.

As for me, I’m afraid of gay men because I’m afraid they will see me wearing jeans with white socks. I can’t bear that humiliation.

I think it’s even stranger that they think all gay women want their dick too ...

Why the comma?

Now he can get back to playing cones of dunshire

1) Use the coupons for the hottest salsa you can get.

Is there some afterlife reward in the bible for this kind of act we don’t know about? 72 Nascars or something?

Rovell: Maybe it turns out racism isn’t even racist. Maybe it turns out the invisible hand is black.

The Gang Amasses a Huge Amount of Porn on Their Work Computers

“Dave’s not here, man.”

Why are you pretending Captain Crunch is a joke? Captain Crunch is a god damn American hero and a veteran.

Well, I know it’s going to be easy to criticize this guy and everything he did but, in fairness, I think he did a great job directing Argo.

“Neither can I.”

Now we’ve really got bad blood

The would-be stabber told the cops he was merely escorting his fellow Seahawks fan back to C section.