You can go straight to hell!

Burneko is a poop face.

"Ere I waited seemingly a fortnight for myne Stuffed Crust Pizza to come 'hither. Myne server was verily NOT of good stock. Thy should be wary, forsooth! Yon, we shan't return."

The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, by Unknown. A canonical text vividly and incisively describing the rise of a conniving and ubiquitous people on the cusp of what thankfully turned out to be the American Century.

They've been forcing them to hand out fake Mexican food, this is just the logical next step.

Also, he littered! Jaywalked! Shoplifted! And was just an all around terrible person, so who cares what he did!

If you hit one of his teammates in the forehead, you better believe you're going to get some serious jawing from Peyton.

or just written "I'm new here."

You must be new here.

New here?

I'm sure Simms will get fined $10,000 for excessive joy, how about the NFL does the right thing and give that $$, plus the $30,000 Jimmy Graham got fined for doing what he does and the $12,000 the Browns backup QB got fined for being an idiot to a charity that supports abused women?

your team sucks hairy pig balls.

The Cubs management? Incompetent to the point that it cost them a victory on the field?

The Cubs groundskeepers could have sure used the Invisible Hand of the Free Market to help them unroll that tarp.

To save money, the team has decided to end each season in September.

I like how our public narrative is "obamacare is forcing companies to not have full time staff" rather than "companies are so fucking amoral and greedy, they'd rather not function than treat their employees well."

Pick the mop back up. This grade school bathroom isn't going to clean itself.

Every time I see Terry Bradshaw I daydream about going back in time so I can hate the 1970s Steelers all over again.

All three of Drew's chins agree that Big Ben is fat.