Best of luck, Brian.

I would like to date a girl like Amy Schumer.

On the one hand, I agree. O'Dowd is the only one people will be familiar with in the U.S.

Eating cookies like a crazed maniac was exactly what made Cookie Monster so ridiculously funny to 4 year old me - he did exactly what you were not supposed to do. The other monsters (if memory serves me) were a little wary of Cookie because they knew he'd eat all the cookies and that wasn't right or nice to do. He…

Idk, that's all well and good for a human. But who's to say the digestive system of a cookie monster is not intended for cookies all the time? Maybe he's vegetable intolerant?

I'm starting to wonder if this campaign is real. This sounds like an episode of Parks and Recreation. Like if they brought Councilman Dexhart back or something.

Sorry - pet peeve. Afghani is money. Afghans are people. They take it as an insult to be called Afghani.

That's not negative personality traits, that's revenge for being forced to get up and face the day way too early.

Having been one of those troops and having led bunches of them in the past, I agree with this statement.

This is definitely the most Jezebel a comment can get.

Yeah, you do that.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST FURRIES!!!?!?!?!?!!?!

I probably would have loved getting one of these things at the fair simply because it seems like it would have a great bounce off walls.

Cynthia Nixon needs to chill

Related!

Oh god, that dangling preposition in the second paragraph. It kills. It kills twice. It kills dead bodies. o.O

Goodness, I don't care about the royal baby at all.

That's just like, your opinion, man.

Special recognition to the closed-captioner who spelled "kneel" as "neal." Neal before the king.

Sex is not primarily recreational...