dude, no, I taught elementary school last year. Now I teach junior high school. Trust me, fourth-graders are a lot smarter than these folks. And a lot nicer too.

Fair trade, cruelty-free. I don't mind paying a little extra for cruelty-free.... The exploitation of poppy plants has gotten out of hand lately.

right? None of that sucky, GMO Opium Poppy crap.

As a recovering opiate abuser, I can confidently say this is a brilliant idea. I mean, not for a restaurant, but for personal use. I had zero appetite when I used opiates and getting my drugs and food as a twofer would have been awesome. But serving your unwitting customers opiates... no. Don't do drugs, kids. Stay in…

People began getting suspicious when the Yelp reviews went from 1 star to a sparkling emerald dragon.

I can see that too, but I've also read in comments on other stories in Kitchenette about people with celiac disease or gluten intolerance who were given what they were told was gluten free only to find out the hard way it wasn't. So a big sign in the window warning them away is much better than that.

I don't doubt that the symptoms your family has experienced were real and very crummy, but MSG allergies are a myth. They have been comprehensively debunked by every reliable, double-blind, peer-reviewed bit of research that has been done on the subject. This is not to say that the symptoms your dad, sister and…

Re: "Gluten sensitivity." I always tell people who insist this to go to the goddamn doctor. Seriously. If you are constantly in gastric distress, there's something wrong with you, and while it could be celiac disease, it could also be a host of ailments that can make your life miserable and/or kill you. Or you could…

Aw, I'm way ahead of them. I haven't given a single fuck about picky eaters and trendy food crap for, let's see, all of my 50 years.

Not to mention you have a chicken carcass to toss in the freezer for stock.

I had someone try to use a fake military ID back in my library days. Homeland security was not interested and the local PD just said we ladies were just being hysterical. Our entire staff was made up of female veterans. We were collectively pissed.

An attorney at The Student Press Law Center has already taken on the case pro bono. And this letter he sent to the school board is amazing.

" Could have used more vegan options. Im outraged. I'll have you know, Im very important. I sell monogrammed thermos's."

For whatever god forsaken reason, I love fast food sausage more than should be considered normal. Anything is better with that fake ass sausage on it.

Rebecca: ...does this mean I get to salivate over pictures of hulking grease monstrosities?

You will immediately notice that A-B is not actually doing anything, or even threatening to do anything, or even hinting at the possibility of considering maybe doing anything.