Relentlessly.
So, I get it.

My apologies.
I was being sarcastic.
I didn't say it properly. I grew up as a fat kid and was ridiculed.

Yeah.
I was gonna ask: They've got, like, "classes" now? "Divisions"? Why?
But you answered before I asked, which is cool.
"...to make me fear death is imminent it'll allow my donut-addled brain to understand better."
No. No it won't, my friend. 8 minutes ago

And "morbidly obese" means that everyone should wonder why you're not dead yet.
A less than charming sentiment.

Exactly.
The fat-ass who called YOU obese is fine. You, however, are actually the result of a failed lab experiment!
That's insane.

Deliberately elusive terminology, you know?

Like,
He's NOT dead, he has ceased to exist as we know it.

The word "obese" itself is more insulting than "fat", if you ask me. There's something very clinical about it. This separates you in a peculiar way. As in: "He's not fat, he's obese!"

True, mocena, but it's still funny.

If you're nice, though, you can spend $500 that you won't be needing anyway for a professional killer to end your sorry, pointless existence once and for all.

Be honest. You would absolutely read garbage like this. So would I.

Or:
Dead-Guy Literally Couldn't Find His Way Out of a Paper Bag!

Brutally Murdered Dead-Guy Damned Near LIVED!

Here's a headline:

They're re-searching. RE-SEARCHING. Like someone forgot some serious evidence.
We don't have any idea where this bozo left it in the car, so we're RE-SEARCHING.

Are you trying to say something? I can't tell, because your hands are moving and that's very distracting.