I’ll bet “closer” wins by a landslide.

Wanna be amazed? Ask people if the moon is closer or further away when it’s full.

Should read, "Billy, I hate to nitpick (but you DON"T need a comma here!).

Sometimes controlled mayhem is exactly what is required.

It was pretty weird. I almost didn't even go, because I was picturing this small group of people in a gymnasium debating a technicality... boring. NOT AT ALL! And it only lasted about 20 minutes before Nurse Ratchet adjourned the meeting because she couldn't handle the rhetoric.

I went to this meeting in town this evening.

I have, several times. But you knew that.

This is one of those things where I feel compelled to ask if you've ever taken LSD.

There's a "sortland"? For real? Then my joke is not going to work in Glasgow...

What? Nothing.

I want to be "super-pedantic" one day. No one will even notice.

So there!

People underestimate this level of diabolical.

You ask for it, you got it!

You weren't. Sorry. My mistake.

He's strain bamaged! Just like you were once!

Those aren't "hijinks".

"After eventually subduing the 18-year-old, the cops took him back to the station, where more hijinks ensued:"