However weekend sports people are MUCH MORE prone to injuries then people who regularly works out.

i’m trying to buy a house right now.

Seriously at this point how the fuck is this real life. It’s too much to absorb. Like my new reality has shifted too quickly and I can’t fucking handle it. If I had the money I seriously would just go and herd cows at this point. The world has gone fucking mad.

I agree with you. But I also think “kissy kissy time” is better than this bullshit: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/13/fashion/13love.html

The USGA rule book clearly states:

Asshole didn’t replace his divot.

Well at least now he has a handicap

Even Chris Wallace laughed.

Please please Mark Cuban. I’ve never asked you for anything. This is all I want.

Um, maybe she was distracted because she lost her father on Friday?

you’d bring your friends Leo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt. And then you would leave.”

Great. Now I want to go to McDonalds.

Lifehacker or Deathhacker?

My wife and I just bought the super-size double. Now we’re just hoping we die at the same time so we can both be buried in it.

Yea, but don’t you have to buy in bulk? What and I going to do with a 10-pack of coffins? :-)

I wish there was a way for us to thank this man. Applause to you sir!

My worst nightmare is being INSIDE the car.

This would be quite effective were it not for the fact that “women: you have to treat them like sh*t” is the subtext for the entire Republican party.

This is a “do” if you are polyamorous. Don’t keep it hidden, as dating someone who is monogamous is a waste of time for poly people, and leading someone on if you are poly and they are not is a mean thing to do.