My friends and I went as Jurassic Park. I'm Dr. Ian Malcolm in the photo. Easiest costume to put together EVER.

I'm 30 weeks pregnant so my husband and I made this

My high school sent everyone home during the height of the anthrax scare due to a mysterious white powder. It was sent off for testing.

WHILE I WAS READING THIS MY SOLITAIRE GAME FROZE.

No, no, I TOTALLY carry a ton of shit, from beauty related to gross to totally random, but the list from the Telegraph was so curated and so beauty and brand focused that it seems laughably unreal.

Not gonna read it. Not gonna read it.

Especially when you only survey the rich people.

i've got my adderall in my purse. do i go by market or street value?

Carrying around a bottle of Coco Mademoiselle in your handbag with an iPad and leather gloves is just a weepy email to Jolie for cleaning advice waiting to happen.

Students? Those that use iPads to work?

Someone come arrest this child rapist.

Or you could go with the Tom Haverford approach concerning glitter messes:

We already have a gender-reversed How I met Your Mother and it's called the Mindy Project. Mindy is very much a female Ted, obnoxiously obsessed with romantic comedy tropes. As predicted, a lot of writing about the show centers on her unlikeability. (I actually like the character anyway and definitely think the show…

My old roommate used to describe glitter as the herpes of craft supplies. After our first Halloween together, I strongly agreed with him.

I don't trust Bays and Thomas with a female protagonist. Their writing has always been misogynistic, and it's only gotten worse over time (look at what they've done to Robin!). Not sure even the presence of Emily Spivey would be enough to counteract their toxic attitudes about women.

We already have a show similar to How I Met Your Father. It's called The Mindy Project.

When I have children of my own, I can only hope to find babysitters as badass as you to care for them in my absence. False alarm be damned.

I think there should be a medal for Real Courage Under Fake Danger. That was hardcore bravery.

*applauds*

I was 13 years old babysitting for a 10 month old baby. I put him to bed no problem and go back into the living room to watch TV. It's maybe 7 pm, parents due back at 11. I'm pretty paranoid about sleeping babies so I go back every maybe 20-30 minutes to make sure the kid is still breathing. At around 9 I check on…