This gif is so White it has a fully diversified trust fund.

I had a table once whisper loudly to their children, "if you don't go to college, you'll end up waiting tables like her..." while I was prebussing their table.

Me during the popcorn story

For that, we’ll be given Poors Ultra-Ground, which is made of tendons, fat, skin, assholes, boiled hooves and horns, and lungs.

Only Real People get to eat beef.

I read "Hot dog shit" as "hotdog shit", as in, the massively awful poo you take after eating too many rippers covered in loose chili and artificial cheese.

"This bill is not about discrimination, and if I thought it legalized discrimination in any way in Indiana, I would have vetoed it."

Pretty sure that honor is reserved for Canada geese. Vile tempered shit machines... Owls stay away from people, they don't attack random kids walking through the park, and most of them don't poop. A vast improvement over geese.

Stealing children is still wrong, correct?

How the hell is Harry not the "weed dealer looking one"? He looks like a college burnout who is "taking a semster off."

Maybe he's wearing a dewy finish foundation.

I play on PS4 and I'm still really annoyed by all the timed exclusives for Destiny. It's petty bullshit, MS and Sony are just constantly scrambling to find new ways to screw each other and the only ones who end up getting fucked are large portions of the video game community.

Hey fellow kids,

Fun fact: Anybody who writes or utters the phrase "I want the purity of my daughters protected" in regards to a bra commercial is going to be a grandparent at 35.

I am going to change my screenname now.

On the bright side, the "religious liberty" bill that would have allowed OK businesses to not serve people if doing so was against strong religious convictions? Failed.

mine is woven of afterbirth, with hemp tassels.

You wore leggings AND did well in school? But... that's impossible!

It's also just stupid.