My advice? Get out of downtown. And Lincoln Park/Lakeview/Old Town. When I first moved here I moved to Lakeview. Then I moved to the Northwest side and don’t regret it. Lots of neat stuff outside of those areas. In fact, I only come downtown because I work here. If I didn’t I wouldn’t. Tourists 8 deep on the sidewalk…

She’s had a lot of fillers and smoothing done. Not sure how much she can actually move her face any more.

The geese here in Chicago are mean as fuck. They are mostly Canadian Geese. Straight up gangsters, and their shit is everywhere.

I feel like the only people who can get away with shapewear as outdoor pants are people like Beyonce and Rihanna. The rest of us are mortals who have to wear actual pants in public.

I played the hell out of that video game. Can confirm, was awesome.

B-Rau’s still an ass though. He gets no pass from me on this.

The one time I took an Uber pool here was when someone died on the red line tracks at Fullerton and the red, brown purple line trains were completely stopped at Belmont. From my neighborhood on the NW side there is no efficient bus that goes downtown, so I took a pool (and got in just before the surge prices really…

Doubtful.... You know what would be interesting? What if the slugs infiltrated a Borg?? I mean, how would that impact the hive? Would the greater hive just cut off the infected hive like a surgeon cutting out a tumor.. Would the space slugs be able to mask themselves and stealth in?

How come the Cheeto-in-Chief is going to Indiana to talk about tax cuts today when it has been a week .. A FULL FUCKING WEEK .. since Maria hit Puerto Rico. My only guess is that Puerto Ricans are too brown and therefore he is in full DGAF mode about it.

Crusty slugs and Borg can co-exist - I mean, it’s a big universe. There were plenty of one-off episodes that were tied into neat little one-off episode boxes, but not even a hint of follow up (a mention in passing.. something) seems disingenuous to me - it was far too open ended. I personally thought it was a great…

Happiness is a pain stick!

To this day, I wonder why there was never a sequel to Conspiracy. Those gross parasite slugs sent out a signal.. A SIGNAL!!! before they were removed from Star Fleet. Star Fleet should be rife with these crusty slugs!

You know what finally got me to go to the gym? A corporate membership I don’t pay for. I totally half-assed it when I was paying for the gym. But my company pays for my membership and I go every damn day (it also helps that it is in the building I work in).

My grandmother had a room in her house that no one - not even the animals - made the mistake of wandering in. The formal living room. Maybe Megyn has a formal living room and that interview in the formal living room was just for show and normally anyone who steps foot in it get snatched bald-headed... Just my family?

Rise of the Tomb Raider was a fun game. I had some issues with the Baba Yaga bits though! It was a pain in the ass to get those platforms to lower just so. But anyhow, you can get the PS4 version with all the DLC for one low price. Easy peasy!

Can we talk about the ridiculousness of this? The skinny shawl collar. The sheen on the suit. The class of 2016 senior picture pose. The shitty smize. This guy probably hasn’t gotten laid in years.

No one in Chicago calls it a bodega. We just call it a corner store. But there are tons of them all over the city, especially once you get out of Lincoln Park, Lakeview and Old Town or hipstery areas like the eastern part of Logan Square. Sadly, none of them have cats. They should get cats.

I’ve never actually used it. Truthfully I can just walk to the Walgreens for most things. Or the corner store on the way to the Walgreens. But, if I am putting on an actual bra to get a box of tampons, the need is immediate to the point that even same day is not gonna cut it.

If I wanted a box of non-perishable goods to magically show up in my lobby, I’d just order from Amazon. If I go to the corner store (because in Chicago, we have corner stores that are also sadly, without cats), it’s most likely because I need a box of tampons and pint of ice cream immediately.

The fruit is hanging low on the joke tree for this one, Ellie.