I was once given a piece of sage advice: "Guys don't make passes at girls with flat asses".

I was not leaked. I feel like I should change my password just because. But the sad thing is that every time I change it I completely and utterly forget what I change it to because I am an old. Numbers, and letters, and special characters! Oh my!!

You don't think he has a giant head? Every time that I look at him I realize how gigantic his dome is.

Right? That's what I love about it.

We had 60 or so people show up to my wedding. We only invited 94. My 60 or so was the perfect size. Ain't nobody got time for 1000 people. That's a village.

Come on, Arizona has either of those two states beat for weird.. Besides, Indiana already made it's move with the caged sex slave woman. It's Ohio's turn.

For $22 million they obviously have radiant in floor heating!

WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT!

Y'all is better than yinz or youse. But yinz is really specific to Pittsburgh only. Both of my parents are from PA and neither say yinz (and my mother is regionally from that side of the state). I say y'all and I'm from NW Indiana. No one looks at me that strangely for it. Here in Chicago a lot of black people…

I'm pretty good at accidentally picking up an accent without trying. So if someone who is from Charleston speaks to me I will pick it up unintentionally (I am from NW Indiana, so basically have what can be described as a Chicago regional accent naturally). I guess for the most part, I don't really have to think…

Sadly, I don't have my octopus nope nope nope gif on my phone.

Is "bone zone" patented or can I use that term in the future? I giggled when I read that.

I'm predictable in what I like but I LIKE this!

Well played, Chris, well played.

I love this.

I personally, as a person living in Chicago and being from the general suburban area, hate the idea of all that garbage on a hotdog. All I want on my hot dog is cheese and onions. Grilled or raw. But fuck sport peppers and relish.

It's a Cubs game. All Chicago baseball fans have low expectations at this point in the season. We've seen worse. I say this as a Chicagoan.

I find a lot of nice stuff at Ross/TJ/Marshall's and have a shrewd eye for a clearance rack find. Got a pair of $100 Jones New York fancy business pants at Macy's on clearance for $16. And found a Vince Camuto skirt at Ross that retailed for $99 for $20. I am transitioning from one super casual job to being on the…

But tweens and teens don't really watch DWTS. The show skews old. That's Blonde surf board kid last season didn't get as far as he probably should have.

Was she at least stealing the high end stuff and not the drug store brands? If you are gonna steal from Ulta at least make sure it's Tarte or Urban Decay and not Cover Girl.