Oh man, that's gonna ruin Bennett's season.

Pilot: "And, if you look to your right, you'll see the beautiful sights of Washington."

[turns left knob]

"After the Tip, Can't Sto pEnnis!"

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A SIGN THAT I'M UNEMPLOYABLE AND IT TURNS OUT I'M HOLDING IT

Here's an idea: bear down and focus on your studies, you embarrassing piece of shit.

This Man Crashed His Car Into A Building. You'll Be Amazed At What Comes Next.

Is "Limitless" a new glass company I've never heard of?

Oh thanks man. I'm kinda new here so I was hoping people would like it.

Now, if gay man sneak up behind you, you backflip. You land on back of man. He will like, but you will make escape.

"Wow, they did it!"

Travelling or not, she still drives a hell of a lot better than Laura Bush.

"Smug hipster jaguar is particularly inspired," Tom Ley wrote before running to the urinal for his third piss of the morning. As he washed his hands, he caught his reflection in the mirror. The resemblance was uncanny and he couldn't deny it. He looked just like the cartoon bear that blew him days before.

I find it awesomely appropriate that the Jacksonville Jaguar logo looks exactly like Tom Ley.

In case anybody thought he didn't deserve horrible things done to him.

By Sam Woolley