Why is golf “less satisfying”? Because you’re not as good at it as you are at using an extremely deadly weapon to blow up inanimate objects?

If the thing you’re enamored with is the use of a projectile to pursue a long-/longish- range target, then golf should give you as much or more satisfaction than sport-shooting. You can sell your guns and buy some decent clubs with some cash to spare.

People who own guns who fall outside Greg’s sensible parameters fetishize/fantasize about taking someone’s life so easily, from a mechanical standpoint. That fantasy is probably subconscious for most, but there’s little doubt that trigger-happy policemen join the force at least partly with the perverse hope that…

[Religiously obligated not to see prophet]

“Damn, I.K.’s got some balls on him!”

Bra.......vo.

And here I was thinking those “I just made $3,955 at home taking surveys online ask me how abcdefghijkafregswetgsre 12121212!!” spam messages had achieved higher Internet sentience. Kind of disappointed.

“Wow, glad I got out of there. I always had a feeling the environment at ESPN was lousier than [irrelevant Boston Celtics team] and [obscure, unbearably kitschy TV show or movie], put together!”

“Ya Gotta Believe,” jagoff.

You know the scene in Forrest Gump where young Forrest is running away from bullies with those restrictive braces on his legs? And there’s that moment where the bolts on the braces start to loosen and his knees are able to bend, right before he takes off for good?

“Congratulations Mets fans! You have unlocked the BOOK OF JOB ALLEGORY BADGE!”

As a Mets fan, I feel this sort of self-flagellation is richly, richly warranted.

Lastings Milledge

He’s the one who would brush his teeth between innings or so, right?

I think many of Allen’s critics dismiss him because his movies are almost always concerned with this central question of the meaning of life and whether some great Objective Force/deity exists. Maybe those critics feel like they know the answer, but to me, I think it’s a question worth asking over and over again, in…

Jon Maine

Major Legal Proceedings

The goings on in South Carolina inspired me to start rereading her stories. The first one in the anthology, “The Geranium” just bowled me over. It was written in 1946, and yet it is pretty much a perfect allegory to what’s (still) going on these days.

TL;DR -

This reminds me of a debate that happened at my lunch table one day in high school. Others were pondering the difference between referring to someone as a “fat fuck” and a “fat shit.” It was decided that “fat fuck” was largely a term of endearment, whereas “fat shit” was derogatory all the way.