I find it hard to get exercised about baseball's unwritten rules as an occasional conduit to a minor injury for a player when college and professional football exist. The mere existence of football, a game whose default state is one that is extremely physically harmful, is hypocrisy enough for the American sports…

Coincidentally, "Never-It" was McCutchen's nickname in grade school games of Tag.

Dear reader Michael, what other Denis Johnson stories have you stumbled into?

He peaked on the first or second page of Everything is Illuminated. Everything since: twee garbage.

And yes, I HAVE had my morning Diet Coke already.

I don't drink coffee, so maybe I'm biased, but the people who work in offices who are all "Oh ha ha stay out of my way until I've had my morning coffee LOLZ!!!" are the single greatest blight on the American workforce. They're the worst because they all have that air of self-satisfaction that makes them say it as if…

"Hello and welcome to Sex.com! Let us be your first guide on a wondrous journey to Adolescent Carpal Tunnel Syndrome!"

Larrazabal achieved Eternal Badass status by hitting his next shot about 12 feet from the hole and canning the putt for a birdie: http://www.europeantour.com/videoaudio/vid…

Nice! I had thought he was at the center of the triple play too. Red Sox beat the White Sox, 7-4 I think.

I was six or seven years old when my dad took me to a Red Sox game where there was a triple play AND John Valentin hit for the cycle. It was the first such occurrence since the 20s. Weird baseball coincidence games are the best.

Nice spikes-up slide, Bryce.

"Let's Go Mets! Let's Go Mets!"

I actually didn't watch the video or the broadcast—honest!—and am glad it appears I'm not talking out of my ass on this one!

Amen times a thousand, brother.

A Saturday morning headline reading "Mercer, Mercer Me" above a picture of Coach K trying to throttle a ref would break the Internet in ecstasy.

I was there too! I still get teary-eyed when I hear Brass Bonanza!

It's impressive as hell either way, but my guess would be he just started going through letters he hadn't guessed. B's up front of the alphabet, so maybe he just ran with it and caught a lucky break.

Don't get me wrong; it hurts me too, man. Writing that section was oddly therapeutic. I went to that last game and cried when Kevin Dineen and Andrew Cassel all those beautiful bastards tossed all their gear into the stands. We can bleed together. Brass Bonanza forever.

FIRST FOUR OUT:

This should be the DUAN song: